I sprained my finger last night, and I say that in my role as not-a-doctor. But it has all the classic medical symptoms of a sprain:
- swollen;
- purple;
- owwy.
I jammed it playing a game of knockout with the team at basketball practice, and that’s the excuse I’m using to explain how I lost to an 11-year-old girl.
I thank Jesus that it’s only a finger on my left hand, because Jesus controls everything, although the fact that Jesus thought I deserved to have my finger sprained by a basketball makes me think Jesus is a bit of a jerk. Don’t you have lepers to heal somewhere, Jesus? Football games to win?
I don’t want to dwell on this minor injury or the fact that I’m a huge baby-booboo. I just wanted to point out how we truly don’t appreciate how much we need our fingers to overcome the tyranny of toothpaste tubes or the burden of bootlaces or the curse of collar buttons. A damaged finger also makes typing very difficeargqt.
That’s why I officially declare today Digit Appreciation Day (DAD), not to be confused with World Injured-Man-Pity Day (WIMP Day). I’ll be marking the day by making pained faces and exaggerating.
On the plus side, it’s my middle finger, so anytime someone annoys me today, I can say, “Want to see my sprained finger? It’s THIS ONE!”
Oh, Jesus and his mysterious ways.
Maybe he did it so you accidental typo your numbers in teh next online lottery so you can win a fortune.
I’ll get back to you on that — on my sold gold smartphone.
Awwww poor baby. Are you okay? Can I get you some saltines? I am extending exaggerated sympathy in the hopes that it will deflect some of the baby booboo duty from your dear family. I live to serve.
Can I have some flat ginger ale in the special glass?
In the Flintstone glass.
Yay!
As long as you use the Fred glass…. The Wilma one is mine! All mine!
“A damaged finger also makes typing very difficeargqt.” LMAO. And yes, Jesus needs to phone in a win for the Pats on Sunday. With Tebow not in the playoffs, I feel like he should have a lot of free time on his hands.
I always pictured Jesus as more of a basketball fan. And I think we can both agree: definitely not hockey.
Don’t you mark all of your days with pained faces and exaggeration? I’m just sayin’, you might want to do something more grandiose— in keeping with the grandiosity of WIMP and DAD day.
I did use crutches. That count?
Yes. We’ll let that count. But, just this once. LOL.