Because search-engine-query posts never get old, that’s why?
When I named this blog “Drinking Tips for Teens,” I didn’t consider the search-engine ramifications for having “teen” in the title.
I mean, whose blog doesn’t get search hits for queries like “cat with banana words” or “what percentage of the time is ross murray wrong?” (Answer: 0%.) Totally Mr. Normal Blog. But the “teen” queries that end up on my doorstep can be mildly distressing.
teenage dirty lit - No, not here, thank you, move along, I’m calling the police now.
cute teens doing push ups - Seriously, I’m picking up the phone.
teen mustache is it ugly - As a rule, yes.
mug on face cry teen - About as bad as a mustache but not quite.
teensex im badezimmer hamster - I’m afraid to look up what a “badezimmer” is. And how the hamster comes into play, I don’t want to know.
hamster teen fresh meat - AGGH! I said I didn’t want to know!
so teens no hamster – Exactly what I’ve been saying all along.
teens tip and asses - Generally teens should tip 15% for asses. If the asses have been exceptional, feel free to tip more.
poetrys for teens - Aw, that’s nice. I hope whoever this was also searched “grammars for teens.”
I brought this on myself, of course, and will continue to ignore live with the consequences. Just a reminder that you should be careful what you write about if you don’t want the weirdos peeking over your shoulder. I wish I had thought of that before posting “A big jar of pee” on Wednesday, because this morning:
pee drinking tips
Oh dear.
ewwww.
The worst part is I expect this has just opened the floodgates and I’ll be getting a stream of these queries from now on.
Probably. Think of it as a weird, twisted compliment. I have yet to get so edgy. My major claim to fame is the My Little Pony Party post. It has pretty much become my identity. So there’s that to look forward to.
My top searches: poppies and Risk boards. It pretty much drives my view numbers.
At least it wasn’t “teen hamster-pee drinking tips.”
Yet.
Yet.
You would BELIEVE the amount of hits a day I get for mermaid bondage… You’re right, I did bring this upon myself.
We all have our kinky crosses to bear.
It’s true.
‘Pee drinking tips’, I didn’t know R Kelly read your blog!
Burn!
hahahahahaha
What ARE these people thinking?
A brain is a terrible thing to Google.
FYI, this morning’s search: “reindeer poop and an onion ring for christmas.” Whaaaa?
Oh dear, indeed!
Yeah, you should talk… I can just imagine.