Devilled hamster

“Self-published.” Is that still a dirty word? I can’t tell. With so many e-books, tree-books and free books out there, it’s almost foolish not to take advantage of whatever opportunity’s at your disposal to get published.

Publishing, of course, is easy. Getting noticed, on the other hand, is hard. You just never know what lucky arse is going to become the next big thing (see Fifty Shades of Arse).

It’s our job as bloggers no one reads to point the way to books no one’s reading… yet. And with so many would-be funny writers out there, we should highlight the genuine are-be funny ones.

Which brings me to The Hamster Won’t Die by Whitney Collins. Whitney is quite simply one of the funniest writers on the web. If she had a nickel for every one of her Facebook posts that made me laugh, she’d have a whole lot of nickels, which would probably be a tripping hazard, to tell you the truth.

She’s funny in her own right (which is a play on words, see, because of the fact that she “writes” and is in fact “right” handed; amazing the English language, n’est-ce pas?) but she also cultivates other emerging humorists on her two websites Errant Parent and The Yellow Ham. Plus, she’s a mom with two mouths to feed — tiny hamster mouths, each of which can store an astounding 37 nickels between vaguely creepy cheeks.

The book is a collection of short pieces that take all the bad thoughts you have as a parent or modern adult or escaped felon and gives voice to them. If you’ve ever fantasized about drowning kittens (but in a hilllllarious way), Whitney’s your gal!

Sure, you could find a lot of these items online but who has time to trudge through the Internet? And then you have to type in her name… “W-H-I-T-N… ADHD I’M SO BORED! Ooo look, a funny piece in The Onion!”

Plus, can you take the Internet to the bathroom with you? No, you… well, yes you can. It’s really the only practical use for an iPad. But books are still the coolest, amiright? So show Whitney some love and order The Hamster Won’t Die.

P.S. I am not being paid for or coerced into this endorsement. I swear I have never had Internet relations with that woman!

P.P. S. Unless by “Internet relations” you mean she’s published my pieces and sent me a keen ball cap for my troubles.

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About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."
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5 Responses to Devilled hamster

  1. javaj240 says:

    I checked out these sites. So great! Thanks for pointing me in their direction. I will be ordering the book just as soon as there is some leftover money in my checking account. I’ve recently been inundated with raffle, cheesecake, girl scout cookie, and popcorn requests. October is fundraising month, or so it would seem!

  2. javaj240 says:

    OMG. Hysterical. Less than five minutes before reading this I forked over $18 to my daughter’s friend for cookie dough. After she had gone my husband asked me what she was raising money for. I admitted that I had no idea. He just rolled his eyes at me and asked how I could spend $18 and have no idea what it was for. My daughter jokingly yelled from her room that it was the Cosmetology Club raising money for hair extensions. He said, “Oh. Okay.” My daughter and I just about wet our pants.

  3. Jennifer says:

    I don’t think “self-published” is as bad as it used to be. There was a time, several years ago, when you would NOT mention it to an agent if you were trying to get one. You just had to pretend it never happened. That is not the case anymore. It neither hurts nor helps, but sometimes it can help if you can prove a readership and that the book sold, even modestly. Glad to see you promoting an author you enjoy. 🙂

  4. Pingback: Books read: March 2012 – March 2013 | Drinking Tips for Teens

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