Le Québec pour les bananaphones!

Last week, a Montreal Metro ticket taker came under fire for posting a sign in his window that read, “Au Québec c’est en français que ca se passe!” (In Quebec we do things in French.) As the following letter demonstrates, this is not the first time Montreal transit employees have expressed their personal views in such a public manner.

Dear Mister Supervisor:

You have asked me to write a letter to explain my actions in regarding the sign I put in my ticket booth window that has been complained about so I am writing you this letter. My wife Bridgette is helping me write this letter also. We have been married for 23 years, many of those years have been happy but I don’t care what anyone says she is good at writing letters.

I would like to start with the facts.

Fact Number 1: I made a sign at home that my daughter’s boyfriend Raoul helped me to print on the printer which has trouble with jamming but Raoul is good at getting into things, this is what Bridgette says my daughter tells her. The sign said “Au Québec c’est avec une banane que ça se passe.”

Ceci n’est pas une banane.

Fact Number 2: I made an installation of my pro-banana sign in the window of my ticket booth at Gaspwater Station where I have worked for 11 years and is a good job that is not conveying that I do not have ambition (Bridgette wants me to write she disagrees).

Fact Number 3: A small few of Metro users complained about the pro-banana sign. They called me “fruitist” even though the sign is not AGAINST other fruit but it is PRO-BANANA. One man yelled at me “Come outside of your booth so I can fight you or are you too yellow?”

Fact Number 4: Many, many other people did NOT complain!!!

Fact Number 5: This incident has been blown all out of propulsion by the anti-banana media.

And now I will defend myself.

Defence Number 1: Freedom of Expressions!!!

Defence Number 2: My Union!!!

Defence Number 3: Freedom of Decorations! Employees are permitted to decorate their working places and there is not any difference between my personal choice of decoration (a freedom of expressions) and a troll doll which is also ugly, childish and a little bit threatening.

Defence Number 4: Because I’m right!

We must defend bananas at all costs. We are surrounded by a fruit salad of other fruits that threatens to mash our banana culture. We need to defend bananas in the homes and in our working places and we need to defend bananas a whole bunch.

It is a proven fact that there are people in Canada who would like to eradiate bananas, they would like to see bananas split. My wife Bridgette and I travelled one time to Canada and asked for bananas and they said to us “We don’t have bananas! Go back to Quebec you monkey!” I know for a fact that they had bananas but they are all a bunch of apples! This is a humiliation to bananaphones that started ripening all the way back at our conquest on the Plantains of Abraham.

Making masters worse are all the immigrants coming to Quebec with their strange fruits and demanding equal bites. They want special persimmons and “reasonable a-pomme-idations” with their lychees and kumquats and other fruits that I don’t know how to say and have never tried but I don’t want to try because bananas. We cannot allow banana culture to be taken for pomegranate!!!

So I do not care and my wife Bridgette could not care less that my pro-banana sign bruises the feelings of SOME people or that it intimates them. They are just thin skinned and should maybe try to like bananas instead of complaining or they can just go live somewhere else like Berry, Ontario or the Grape Lakes. Bananas here or mango home!!!

For conclusion, I am not trying to be a smart guy or a smoothie but I do not apologize for my PRO-banana sign and want you to know that if I am reprihanded for defending the banana, it will be a peeled. I will continue to promote bananas and a society that eats only bananas until that glorious day when Quebec finally becomes a true banana republic.

Yours unapologeticously,
Ticket Taker 78153


About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."
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5 Responses to Le Québec pour les bananaphones!

  1. javaj240 says:

    So very clever!

  2. Sooo funny Ross!

    For more Press on this, it all started with Facebook, then reports to CJAD+CTV+Global, and it took off from there. Here is our release on it:
    Friday, 05 October 2012 09:53 Hugo Shebbeare
    For Official Release Oct 5 2012 -The OQLA will Protest STM Language Discrimination at Villa Maria Metro 6 pm, Oct 5 2012

    As reported by the local media, a Metro station ticket agent has put up a sign twice this week saying “Au Québec, c’est en français que ça se passe” which indicates, the Metro attendant would only speak to clients in French. Au métro Villa Maria, une pancarte dans la fenêtre au kiosque de la STM indiquant «Au Québec, c’est en français que ça se passe,» a été vue à deux reprises cette semaine.Villa Mara Metro station is located in NDG/Westmount where a predominant English communities resides. The Metro Agent was asked by his superiors to take down the sign as it violates the STM code of ethics – so far he has refused.

    Hugo Shebbeare spokesperson for the Office québécoise de la langue anglaise stated, “We ask the Mayor of Montreal, Prime Minister Stephen Harper and Premier Pauline Marois to denounce this type of repetitive behavior, and demand that the STM (Montreal’s transport authority) apologize and take swift action against this discrimination. It is unacceptable for a public servant to degrade the long-standing historic Anglo-Quebecker community.” Earlier this year, in July, STM spokesperson Marianne Rouette stated the STM has ”zero tolerance” for discrimination, if this is true, then we at the OQLA, expect swift action from the STM. Shebbeare continued,” today we shall protest at Villa Maria Metro at 6 pm and stand united to preserve and promote the English language in Quebec. Please come join us, to stop language discrimination in Quebec, so we can all move onto the more serious problems we face in our province.”

    Hugo Shebbeare
    Spokesperson – Porte parole
    Quebec Office of the English Language
    Office québécois de la langue anglaise

    Tel: 514-705-3404

    — 30 —

    The OQLA is a non-profit organization made up of volunteers who are concerned about methodical undoing of minority language rights in Quebec. Our primary objectives are to preserve and promote the English language within the province, to ensure that the English language does not become extinct in Quebec, and to make sure that companies provide bilingual signage in accordance with the language laws of Quebec. As mentioned in a previous Press Release, our organization strongly opposes violence.
    A Facebook page for this Event has been created.

    Controversial language sign back up at Villa Maria metro station

    Global News coverage thanks to Paola Samuels (brief clip of interview at the end) http://www.globalmontreal.com/video/villa+maria+metro/video.html?v=2287884460&p=1&s=dd#video
    They were nice enough to drive up to our office, so was just outside work 🙂

    Here is the entire video of the successful and peaceful protest, and right in front of the anglophobic STM employee to boot! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzmlzOHckHs&list=UUimt29ab_GgYILUdMiuK7tA&index=1&feature=plcp

  3. Pete says:

    Yes, we have no, banana’s today. Spoken like a true Applephone, Appleonian 😉

  4. alwynrl says:

    I’m not from those parts so most of it bounced off my thick head. Here in India recently a prominent Indian called India a banana republic though we are more of a mango people. The reason was that some one questioned his 3000% increase in assets in a few short years. maybe the guy is a genius in business. God Bless him.

    • rossmurray1 says:

      Quebec politics are highly regionalized, the result of our own share of thick heads here as well. My pieces here originally appear in a Quebec newspaper, which is why they sometimes make references to events or people that I know are going to be lost to readers in the blogosphere. But hooray for diversity! Thanks for reading and for the comment.

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