People hipper than me insert random Z’s in their words to make them edgy, like “LOLZ” or “gangz” or “awezome.” I’m going extra edgy with an X because that’s how awexome I feel about getting a Liebster Award from One Awkward Year.
Have I taken it too far? I don’t think you can take it too far anymore. I know of a marketing firm called LiQuid – yeah, that’s right, a capital Q right there in the middle of the word, like they wanted to emphasize the “quid.” Or maybe the “Q” stands for “question,” as in “What the fuuuhhh…?”
But theze be the times we live in. Language is all loosey-goosey, and rules like spelling, grammar, punctuation and capitalization — none of that malters anymoose.
What does matter? Awards, baby! Gimme, gimme, gimme! I really can’t distinguish the significance of one of these awards from another but who am I to turn my back on the blog love? This makes four awards for Drinking Tips for Teens, and at this rate I’ll soon have more awards than followers. I’ve got the rexpect but not the readerz. I’m like the “Undeclared” of the blogosphere. You should totally be bragging about reading this blog to all your other hipster friends.
What’s swell here is that One Awkward Year and I have only been following each other for a short time. She’s groovy and funny and so uncool she’s cool (but not in a Huey Lewis & The News kind of way), and she puts it all out there, and I love that. Me, I’m a little more reserved, which probably has something to do with my age and being of Scottish Presbyterian heritage and possibly not being breastfed. Have I said too much?
Looking at the blogs I’ve followed in the past year, it seems I follow way more blogs by women then by men. Why? you ask. WHY? Okay, calm down. Maybe it’s like Portastatic sings, “I wanna know girls / don’t want to know men / I’m already stuck inside / the head of one of them.”
Or maybe it’s just that there are proportionally more women bloggers than men. Of course I have no basis on which to make such an assumption. Hang on while I Google that. Here’s a video of the great Peter Cook in his guise as Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling for you to watch while I check. Be right back…
Wasn’t that great? There are 11 more episodes. I know Christmas is long over (although we did just celebrate Estuphany) but Peter Cook is appropriate any time of the year. This series aired over the 12 days of Christmas in 1990-91 and was never broadcast again. It saddens me every time I watch this that it’s had only 48,000 hits and that subsequent nights have been watched as few as 8000 or 2000 times, whereas this has received nearly 2 million views. Don’t click that link! DON’T DO IT! Sigh….
Where waz I? Oh yes, womenx. According to this article in The Atlantic, women are 8 percent more likely to have a blog than men. In other words, I’m not totally biased towards women, just sort of.
Oh, and one of my very favourite male bloggers is gay. Same “how the other half lives” reasons maybe? Or maybe it’s because Nic at Key Changes is just a sweet, funny guy with self-esteem issues, and the more times I mention him the more followers he’ll get and the better he’ll feel about himself, and maybe one of those followers will turn out to be “the one,” romance will bloom and before you know it they’ll be naming their adopted Chinese baby after me. It’ll be magical!
As you can see (read), I’m all in a tizzy (tixxy) about this award, not my usual reserved self. That’s because I’m trying to put off the inevitable, namely the catch: the 11 things about me (haven’t I talked enough already?), the 11 questions, the nominees. Yarga-yarga! And look at this post, it’s already over 700 words. I get antsy if posts get longer than 700 words because I worry that no one’s going to bother reading such a long post. But then I remember that no one reads them anyway.
So I’m going to finish this awardx ceremony in a subsequent pozt. And don’t forget Peter Cook. He is (as you young people say) a bomb.