Search-O-Rama! Teen Edition

Because search-engine-query posts never get old, that’s why?

When I named this blog “Drinking Tips for Teens,” I didn’t consider the search-engine ramifications for having “teen” in the title.

I mean, whose blog doesn’t get search hits for queries like “cat with banana words” or “what percentage of the time is ross murray wrong?” (Answer: 0%.) Totally Mr. Normal Blog. But the “teen” queries that end up on my doorstep can be mildly distressing.

teenage dirty lit  – No, not here, thank you, move along, I’m calling the police now.

cute teens doing push ups – Seriously, I’m picking up the phone.

teen mustache is it ugly – As a rule, yes.

mug on face cry teen – About as bad as a mustache but not quite.

teensex im badezimmer hamster – I’m afraid to look up what a “badezimmer” is. And how the hamster comes into play, I don’t want to know.

hamster teen fresh meat – AGGH! I said I didn’t want to know!

so teens no hamster – Exactly what I’ve been saying all along.

teens tip and asses – Generally teens should tip 15% for asses. If the asses have been exceptional, feel free to tip more.

poetrys for teens – Aw, that’s nice. I hope whoever this was also searched “grammars for teens.”

I brought this on myself, of course, and will continue to ignore live with the consequences. Just a reminder that you should be careful what you write about if you don’t want the weirdos peeking over your shoulder. I wish I had thought of that before posting “A big jar of pee” on Wednesday, because this morning:

pee drinking tips

Oh dear.

About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."
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16 Responses to Search-O-Rama! Teen Edition

  1. peachyteachy says:

    Probably. Think of it as a weird, twisted compliment. I have yet to get so edgy. My major claim to fame is the My Little Pony Party post. It has pretty much become my identity. So there’s that to look forward to.

  2. runningonsober says:

    At least it wasn’t “teen hamster-pee drinking tips.”


  3. vyvacious says:

    You would BELIEVE the amount of hits a day I get for mermaid bondage… You’re right, I did bring this upon myself.

  4. josefkul says:

    ‘Pee drinking tips’, I didn’t know R Kelly read your blog!

  5. Kylie says:


    What ARE these people thinking?

Go ahead, don't be shy.

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