1) If you’re the host/presenter/potential subject of an ambush interview at a public event, make sure all your duties are out of the way before you venture out into the pouring rain.
2) The Wet Look is definitely out.
3) I should definitely have blood work done because I clearly need a prescription of steak.
4) Or it may be all the twitching that’s keeping the weight off.
5) When deer talk to each other about being stunned and paralyzed, they refer to it as “Ross in the headlights.”
6) You should call Sheila Quinn to host your next event, even if that event is laying off all your employees. She’ll liven that sucker right up!
7) I gave the rubber chicken to the dog, which may have been a social faux-pas gift-wise, but it’s okay because I did the same with all our wedding presents.
Next: Everyone has their prejudices. For example, I hate the film Grown Ups and, for reasons I can’t fully fathom, have seen it 2.2 times. Damn kids! I really, really hate this movie, not because it’s especially bad but because it is among the laziest, least funny, trite, underlyingly nasty wastes of talent I’ve ever seen.
I attribute this movie to my loss of faith in American film. Mainstream Hollywood movies are like Patak’s Indian pastes and sauces; they all have different names and ingredients but ultimately they all taste like Patak’s.
Consequently, I am prejudiced against the upcoming Grown Ups 2, so much so that I am actively urging people to, please, do not go see it. Producing a terrible, lazy movie is one thing; rewarding that movie with a sequel is something worth fighting against. Instead of you and your date going to see Grown Ups 2, spend your money on my book instead. You’ll make yourself and more importantly me much happier. (See how I brought that back around?)
So we all have our prejudices. And sometimes you might even surprise yourself to discover what your prejudice is. Which brings me to this week’s audio piece, which aired on CBC “Breakaway” today. Would you still love your child if she turned out to be… well, listen and hear for yourself. (Bonus: There’s no twitching on the radio!)