Hello, my little love bugs.
Why “love bugs,” do you suppose, and not “love insects”? I even think “love spiders” sounds positively fetching, although it’s only a short leap from “love spiders” to “love crabs,” and I think we need to draw the gross line somewhere.
I thought I’d take a break from all the feverish hormonal frenzy of Valentine’s Day to announce the winner of my super-original contest. The strict entry requirement involved citing a song that you misunderstood at first, and by “strict” I mean “not very strict at all.” Like, if this contest were your mom, the rules would be your dad, you dig?
Anyway, it turns out that the law of probability shone its whimsical light on List of X, who vaguely mentioned The Beatles and cheesy French singer Joe Dassin. But who am I to argue with a Roman numeral.
X wins a copy of The Best of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. The rest of you get a playlist of all the songs suggested (Grooveshark widget; non-mobile platforms required, methinks), and it may very well be the most random playlist ever posted in the history of the blogiverse on Valentine’s Day at this particular hour. If you want the backstory to the songs, hit the comments over at the contest page.
Now, get back to all your making out and whatnot, you crazy love squids! And don’t forget to practice safe whatnot.
Why didn’t I win, Rosemary.
The goddess of probability is obviously holding back for the big one!
damn that Goddess, Rosemary! Damn Her/Him/Shehe!
I can’t believe I didn’t win! 😦 😦
You are a winner in my heart.
I’m sick n’ tired of not winning any of these contests. This blows. I get all emotionally vested in your internets shenanigans, only to wind up a loser. It’s like I’m dating again. Who do I gotta bribe? What’s your price, Rosemary.
There’s a lot of hostility on this page, you know, for a day of LOVE. I think everybody needs to calm down and relax by listening to “I’ve Never Been To Me” by Charlene.
Is that what you think? Well, I think I’d better win the next contest, you aul rattlesnake. I’m the one who knows all about McSweeney’s. Wasn’t that a big enough hint for you?
Yes. Yes. Heh-heh. Sure. [backs away slowly]
Happy Canadian Valentine’s Day, Ross!
It’s the metric version, where everything is bigger! (Or is it smaller?)
I didn’t even know about the contest. Stupid life.
Note to self: alert Calahan.
Didn’t win. Oh well. I just entered to be nice to you anyway…
These comments are bumming me out. I made a playlist and everything!
And what a strange playlist it is…
Good for X. We finally learned that X = talent. For what is lesson two!
It’s when math meets philosophy: solve for why.
Just a probability of talent, really. Or a talent for probability.
i believe there is some sort of toxic spray or powder to deal with love crabs. best, beth
In my love shack with Love Potion #9.
Omigod, this is so unexpected! I wanted to thank the laws of probability and the pure chance for this award! I’d also like to thank my mom – that’s the rule of the contest, isn’t it?
Yay! I’m happy for List of X!
Stop looking at me like that…
Ah, go have some syrup.
Fine. Rub it in.
Not the syrup…