We be shillin’

coverfinal02So, when the revolution comes, which by my reckoning should be sometime next week, probably Thursday, depending on your time zone, you’re not going to want to read all those drab dystopian novels because you’ll be living them. Instead, what you’ll want will be pleasant, humorous snapshots of simpler times, the perfect length to read during one of the three designated five-minute work breaks allowed daily by our robot overlords at the hydrogen slave farms.

Don’t Everyone Jump at Once is just that book.

I’m not going to bore you with details about what’s in this whimsical collection of columns about life, family and the defence of cannibalism during the End Times. Instead, let me tell you what you won’t get:

  • Boolean algebra
  • The “autobiography” of any pop star under the age of 25
  • A recipe for Balena Ano Arrosto di Radicchio (Roasted Whale Anus on Radicchio)
  • A venereal disease
  • Your money back

What’s important to know is that the cover price of my most recent collection has plummeted from $18.00 plus shipping down to (up to?) $20.00 shipping included for U.S. orders and $15.00 (definitely down) shipping included for Canadian orders directly from the publisher, Blue Ice Books.  Does that even make sense? Doesn’t matter; in a week, the monetary system will collapse anyway so spend, spend, spend!

Order now, and you’ll get this free photo of me pretending to row a canoe:


The post sticking out of his head kind of explains a lot.

Operators aren’t standing by. Because they’ve all been eaten.


About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."
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24 Responses to We be shillin’

  1. Paul says:

    I tried three times to order your book last week Ross and every time the screen froze. I even tried rebooting my laptop – same result. In theory it is from Blue Ice Books but the links lead through Amazon because Amazon seems to be handing payment and such. It may be my old laptop can’t handle the site – I’m running XP with an older browser (I tried updating but it I don’t have the memory and such) But I tried. It sounds like a good discount, I wish I could take adantage of it. Thank You for the opportunity.

  2. So this is you, up the creek without a paddle?

  3. Ned's Blog says:

    Okay, Mr. Strong Arm salesman! I ordered my copy. And just so you know, if you order with an Albanian currency mode, it only costs $2.50. But shipping is $94.

  4. goldfish says:

    I definitely prefer whimsical collections of columns sans boolean algebra, whale anuses and venereal diseases.

  5. Scarlet says:

    It doesn’t seem to accept pounds, so please could you send me a free copy?
    Mr Pain can vouch that I am of good character and most deserving.
    Thank you. I look forward to the arrival of my parcel.

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