Sorting Wrapped Gifts on a Snowy Evening

Whose gift this is I do not know
I wrapped it seven days ago.
There’s no distinctive marking here
Except this festive store-bought bow.

The box’s shape is kind of queer
Two lumpy mounds like a brassiere
But feels like wood or frozen cake;
Don’t ever wrap while drinking beer.

I give the gift-wrapped box a shake
And know I’ve made a huge mistake.
Who gets this gift will have to sweep;
I’m pretty sure I heard it break.

The checkout lines are long and deep
But I must shop before I sleep,
Though malls at Christmas make me weep,
Though malls at Christmas make me weep.


About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."
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23 Responses to Sorting Wrapped Gifts on a Snowy Evening

  1. pinklightsabre says:

    Goofball: ball of goof, you. Did you start break? When does it break?

  2. franhunne4u says:

    Love it – and even though I am neither American nor Canadian I recognised it. We had the original in our English textbook back at school – and that is a day or two gone by since …(1982? I think it was my 9th year). You even kept the rhyme scheme!
    Concerning wrapping I got it easy – only one set of parcels to stay here with me – the others I sent away at different times so I wrapped them at different days.

  3. franhunne4u says:

    Reblogged this on inhannover and commented:
    YES – my English classes pay off, finally – I recognised the original.

  4. Paul says:

    Yes, too much beer can lead to unpredictable outcomes. Ha! Fun post Ross.

  5. ksbeth says:


  6. lol @ Robert Frost tag. I thought this was an old Run/DMC song. Shows you where I come from.

  7. Carrie Rubin says:

    Malls always make me weep, Christmas time or not…

  8. Letizia says:

    Frost would be proud, haha! One year my mother forgot to put tags on her gifts so we just opened them all randomly and then she would say “oh, that one is for your father”. It was so funny. Merry Christmas, Ross!

  9. markbialczak says:

    And this is why you buy the same gift for everyone! Ho! Ho! Ho! Or name tags with beer-proof peel n stick backings. Ha! Ha! Ha!

    Merry Christmas, I.M. Vic Pentameter.

    Best of the big day to you and the family, Ross. Enjoy.

  10. Ned's Blog says:

    While my Christmas gift gently weeps…
    No doubt, my wife and I will be frantically wrapping gifts Christmas Eve in a flurry of flying tape and decorative paper. And just like assembling something from Fingerhut, there will be something left over that didn’t get a label. *sigh*

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