Let a smile be your medicated umbrella

Garage Band is to music what Photoshop is to photography, namely a lot of people have it but few know how to really use it. I can think of a few other things we don’t use to their full capacity: the remote, microwave ovens, democracy.

I’ve been playing around with Garage Band a bit on my iPad but more in an exploratory way than in any serious, project-minded way. If Garage Band were a music store, I’d be playing “Smoke on the Water.”

My goal is to be able to create a blues instrumental for a song I’m writing called “Tea Drinkin’ Man.” And by “goal” I mean “thinking about without doing much work.” To achieve anything, I’d actually have to learn the program, and who has time for that? Reading the manual is for chumps!

But I did manage to create some doodly-doodly ambient music, which ended up serving just fine as background to the above bit of audio, a fake advertisement that originally aired on CBC Radio’s “Breakaway.”

As I’ve said before, I enjoy the things I can do with audio that I simply can’t pull off in print, like nudity. Just kidding, there’s no nudity. But if you want to hear what I mean, click the play button. No manual required.

About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."
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27 Responses to Let a smile be your medicated umbrella

  1. pinklightsabre says:

    Okey dokey my favourite piece you’ve done. leeeeeakage

  2. Paul says:

    If your smile continues for more than 8 hours report to Emergency. That alone will wipe that silly smile off your face when you’ve sat for 13 hours in one of those uncomfortable god-foresaken chairs and listened to the kids crying and the people with broken limbs moaning all the while ambulances come screaming in and out and people dressed as medical staff rush about shouting orders. You most likely will be able to leave without your smile and without seeing a doctor.

  3. List of X says:

    I will have to come back to actually listen. I’m not familiar with Garage Band, but I have spent a lot of hours with Cakewalk, and was mainly overwhelmed by the overabundance of options.
    Speaking of democracy, it’s not like we don’t use it correctly, but it it’s more like I’m being told I have microwave oven and it’s actually a toaster.

    • rossmurray1 says:

      Never heard of Cakewalk. With a name like that, it should be easy.
      Good analogy, but it’s when you believe that it’s a microwave oven that it really becomes a problem.

  4. I can only push play on my iPod, so I’m super impressed.

  5. That was very funny too. I don’t think I will every hear the word leakage again without thinking of you little ditty.

  6. Elyse says:

    You’ve hit upon my method for meeting my goal of writing the great American humor novel. Damn you’re amazing!

  7. Super funny! 🙂 And hopefully, there will be a twofor – Rictosol and Depends.

  8. That opening sentence is a brilliant analogy. You’re a smart dude and a good writer.

    Brian Eno called. He wants his riff back. (That was a compliment, albeit a backhanded one.) Is that your voice?

    • rossmurray1 says:

      Yes, that’s all me. I know; you were expecting something more Vin Diesel.
      Smart Keyboard and Smart Drums make me seem way more Smart Ross than I am, but I’ll take the compliment.

  9. ksbeth says:

    fun, fun, fun. and i heard your nudity loud and clear, ross –

  10. Count me among the impressed. Imagine if you had a Mr. Microphone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF4ny7KivzA

  11. This is so AWESOME!! Too funny. I love doing audio blogs and wish I had time to do more, but it takes a little more… maybe a lot more… work, not only the writing but the recording. I’ve done a few of my stories in audio which are pretty cool. This also came out when I first discovered audio: http://brownroadchronicles.com/2012/09/19/my-new-radio-advertisement/ I was using ProTools at the time, similar to garageband, another recording package. There’s some freeware stuff out there too. You and me need to start a radio show!!

    • rossmurray1 says:

      That’s pretty funny. Clear sound quality too. I use a USB mic backed by pillows in my bedroom and record and edit through Audacity (freeware). My bits air on our regional CBC every two weeks and I post to Soundcloud for fun. I find the blog format isn’t great for audio, simply because I don’t think people are inclined to just sit and listen at their computers. So, thanks for clicking!

      • I’m curious about the pillows, I’ve heard that before. Do you build like a fort or something around the mic? I’m actually really interested in this as I get a lot of hiss typically in recordings. I think its more that the sound card on my laptop is probably crap, but I’m always trying to figure out how to record better.

        • rossmurray1 says:

          Yes, it’s a pillow fort. Actually, these days, just one big pillow. It takes care of echo and makes the tone fuller. I’m no expert by any means, but the hiss is probably equipment related. It’s a mic?

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