I am carrying this live skunk to protest everything Donald Trump stands for


She gets me.

For the past weeks, as I’ve watched the presidency of Donald Trump unfurl like a deep-fried blooming onion at a county fair – unhealthy, nauseating, greasy – I have asked myself, how can I make my voice heard? How can one small person effectively express his utter loathing of Trump and his so-called policies? Also, what can I do with this live skunk I happen to have?

I have felt powerless facing down a reckless political machine that overwhelmingly rewards self-interest and negates common sense. What could I hope to accomplish as simply one more body in a sea of protests, specifically a body who really can’t afford to take time off work to march in the streets?

But then I noticed among these protests the complete absence of skunks of any kind. That was when I realized that my Trump protest and the live skunk I happen to have are one and the same. The skunk is the protest!

So now I am carrying this live skunk to protest everything Donald Trump stands for.

My protest is a reminder that all citizens must band together to fight intolerance, lies and bigotry. We must fight with our hearts and minds, we must fight with our voices and hands, and we must fight with the caustic, stinging stench of a live skunk.

In carrying this live skunk, I am telling the world, “My heart is sickened by the disrespect President Trump has shown society’s most vulnerable, not just in his own country but in deeply troubled parts of the world. I cry these tears out of sorrow, and not merely due to the irritation caused by the sulphurous discharge from the scent glands of this live skunk.”

Go ahead and build your wall, but no wall can keep out love, just as no wall can keep out the acrid stink of a live skunk.

By carrying this live skunk, I am expressing my belief that Trump’s immigration and refugee policies have little to do with security but are meant to whip up fear of “the other,” ultimately to justify the curtailing of human rights and civil liberties. By carrying this live skunk, I am reminding people that most of our fears are irrational – except for the fear of being sprayed by a live skunk, which is highly likely in this instance.

We supposedly live in a post-truth age of alternative facts, and yet there can be no denying that this is definitely a live skunk I’m carrying.

The live skunk has a Twitter account: @TrumpSkunk. It consists entirely of pictures of me carrying this live skunk and people reeling back in abject horror. It’s a metaphor, the live skunk being Trump’s Twitter statements, and the horrified people being the horrified people.

A word about the live skunk: the live skunk does not seem to mind being carried. If it wants down, I let it down for a while, but not for so long that I can no longer claim that I am carrying a live skunk to protest everything Donald Trump stands for.

I also ensure that the live skunk has adequate food and water. I take great care of the live skunk, because I know that even the slightest harm caused to a helpless animal is far more upsetting to many people than the serious harm caused to a human refugee.

I cannot explain where the skunk came from. It seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, although in hindsight I should have seen the skunk coming.

Until the Trump administration backs away from its cynical, Orwellian strain of politics, I will continue to carry this live skunk, surrounded by a noxious cloud, much like the noxious cloud of division that permeates this administration and serves only to embolden the ignorant and hateful, a noxious cloud that’s going to take a whole lot of tomato juice to wash out of our clothes/souls.

Carrying this live skunk to protest everything Donald Trump stands for is clearly the only thing I can do.

I have named the live skunk Steve Bannon.


About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."
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48 Responses to I am carrying this live skunk to protest everything Donald Trump stands for

  1. “…even the slightest harm caused to a helpless animal is far more upsetting to many people than the serious harm caused to a human refugee.”

    Ain’t that the painful truth.

    Love the post. Hate the name of the skunk. Well, the skunk’s namesake.

  2. pinklightsabre says:

    Ah, like that you squeezed that in at the end about Steve, well done. I so appreciate this on multiple levels. (The digger about the fact people will back an endangered skunk with more verve than humans is also good.)

  3. Ned's Blog says:

    Coincidentally, I’m sure the skunk Steve Bannon and the actual (I can’t say human in good conscience) Steve Bannon are immune to their own acrid odor.

  4. Steve Bannon’s mother also had a skunk that she named Steve Bannon.

  5. I’m going to follow that Twitter account, even if it has just one pic.

    But I think skunks are too benign for Bannon. Here’s my idea for his animal representative: https://kevinbrennanbooks.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/ferocious-bobbit-worm-head-and-jaws.jpg

  6. List of X says:

    I think it is very appropriate to carry a skunk to protest a president who carries a ferret on his head.

  7. Thanks for injecting humor into our misery. I think you should keep a lot of bloody mary makings around just in case…you may need a good stiff drink every now and then. I fear you will be carrying that skunk a long time Ross. Bannon must know where the bodies are buried is my theory.

  8. nshami14 says:

    Beautiful, sad, true, and funny. Tell Steve Bannon skunk I said “hey.” Not. Now I am noticing again how much his name looks like banana. Do skunks like bananas? Peace.

  9. I’m not normally an aggressive personality but lately I can’t decide which would be more satisfying, assassination or impeachment. I’m leaning towards impeachment, but only if it’s really gory.

  10. rogerthesurf says:

    “overwhelmingly rewards self-interest and negates common sense”

    rossmurray, I am surprised you can say this seriously. If you ever studied economics you might understand how Obama has all but ruined the US economy, and you would understand that Donald Trump is busy doig the right things that will help the normal American. Especially in terms of the availability of jobs.

    Why would you tolerate the seperation of the rich and the poor which is the result of Obama’s term in office and how can you sanction the terrible debt that he left the American people.
    Donald Trump knows that socialism will never fix the problem, but he knows what proper capitalistic and conservative policies of shrinking government, shrinking taxes and removal of over regulation will do.

    So are you on the side of communism and despotic government or on the side of people who need to feed their children, pay their medical insurance and put a roof over their heads?




  11. byebyebeer says:

    People may see the skunk and think of Pepe Le Pew and not take it seriously. Some may think it is Pepe Le Pew and wonder about you (are you a paint-striped cat). Its real name is killer. Splendid post.

  12. Good luck with that! While you’re being a productive member of society carrying a skunk around, I will sponsor a brick to help build the wall 🙂 Cheers!

  13. Great post, Ross. Funny and sad and real.

  14. Love it! ….especially the name, but then again, the uber-troll Bannon is not even worthy of having a skunk named after him.

  15. Perhaps you could start lobbing live skunks over the White House wall? That’d send a message for sure. Plus, I’d get to see you on TV.

  16. Moral imperative will dutifully apply itself to each lil infraction as the arise in reality and slowly…….but surely…..the freedom we fear being forcibly removed by others will slowly be saturated with causes until it suffocates by our own hand.
    <__< until then social disobedience will be real creative and fun. Until then.

  17. Tika says:

    This is funny haha
    Follow me on my journey interning on Capitol Hill https://partikaposts.com/2017/05/14/the-opinionated-truth-introduction/

Go ahead, don't be shy.

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