Last year, thanks to an anonymous tip by someone looking for a friendly face online, I learned that my not so friendly face, posted four years earlier on this blog, was being used by someone on a dating site. I was less appalled than amused. I mean, look at that face.
A reverse Google image search revealed that the my image was best described as “middle-aged man.” Further investigation revealed that this image was being used as a fake avatar on dating sites, Yelp pages, Google Plus, message boards, an English language instruction site, even as a real reporter’s head shot.
Several months later, a handful of those sites have been taken down. Other cease-and-please-stop requests (so Canadian!) have been ignored.
But worse, new fake identities have popped up. Worse still, they’ve put words in my mouth. Worst of all, I have penis problems.
For ABC Computer Solutions in Australia, I am Jeremy McDall, driver for Brown and Hurley, very pleased with the services they provided my computer and iPad. “Will definitely be back when needed.” I definitely wrote them and asked them to remove my image.
Pretty innocuous comments, however. Who doesn’t have computer problems? Sometimes your computer is just tired. Maybe your computer drank too much or is undergoing a lot of stress. No big deal. It happens to the best of hard drives.
Penis problems, on the other hand? PENIS PROBLEMS! Now I’m talking about PENIS PROBLEMS?
Oh, there’s more. I’m a Cheap Cialis spokesman two-times over, though clearly I am not a spokesman in my first language. I am also really icky.
“My girlfriend was exhausted.” No one believes you, Bill!
Clearly I would prefer my face not be used to hawk knock-off boner drugs. And look at that face! It does not look like the face of someone whose sex-marathon was a success.
I don’t want to be Andrew or Bill, and yet I find no way of contacting this “company” except to go through the process of ordering Cheap Cialis. It’s bad enough I now have “Cheap Cialis” in my browser history.
I continue to be baffled by why this face, of all the head shots I’ve posted over the years. And if it can be used to sell penis pills, where does it end?
Oh wait: it ends here. On this tattoo site, I am the #1 Sad Middle Aged Man.
Well, if you were an involuntary sex drug shill, you’d be a #1 sad man too.