The Real Fate of the Furious

Short-term spike in blood pressure

Tell-tale spittle droplets on conference room table

Uncomfortable silence from co-workers

Promise from supervisor in soothing voice to resolve problem

Feelings of satisfaction that situation will be remedied thanks to forceful rhetoric

Feelings of guilt for lack of self-control

Inability to focus on anything except whether co-workers noticed spittle

Failure by co-workers to make eye contact for indefinite period

Lunches alone at desk for indefinite period

Sense that reputation is now considered “difficult”

Sense that “difficult” is code for “asshole”

Failure to receive promotion

New nickname: Spitty McSpittleface

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About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."
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20 Responses to The Real Fate of the Furious

  1. calijones says:

    I’m afraid this is me womp womp

  2. pinklightsabre says:

    I’m getting a bad vibe here. But (not to turn it all back to me) I’m remembering a post I did when the you-know-what was hitting the you-know-what, and you had some words of encouragement for me. So you know what I’m saying, right? Hang in there. Bill

    • rossmurray1 says:

      This is funny. You’re the second person who thought this was a cry for help. I’m just riffing on the film title. Maybe I better flag this as “humor” because apparently it ain’t obvious. As I said to him, though, thanks for having my back.

  3. Flimsy red hair flops wildly back and forth on a reddish pate

    Multiple valuable employees fired to preserve faulty ego perception

    Receives United States presidency

  4. Yeah, I got worried too. Was wondering how you could tag this as humor when, obviously, you were *suffering* so much. Thanks mucho for the comment clarification. All the best clarifications occur in the comment section.

  5. I also thought you were serious, Spitty.

  6. ksbeth says:

    get in your hybrid prius and drive at least 5 over. live on the edge.

  7. Saying ‘darnit’ instead of ‘fiddlesticks.’

Go ahead, don't be shy.

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