Netflix “Originals”

Netflix’s ‘Russian Doll’: A Darker, Druggier ‘Groundhog Day’ – The Daily Beast, Feb. 1, 2019
‘Bird Box’ Is The Netflix Version Of ‘A Quiet Place’- Zimbio, Dec. 27, 2018
The ‘Stranger Things’ Secret? It’s Basically an 8-Hour Spielberg Movie – Wired, Aug. 12, 2016

What a Wacky Wednesday!
(Comedy)
Succumbing to an ancient gypsy curse combined with a mixup in Google Calendar settings, a mother and her teenage daughter swap dietary restrictions for the day. Gastric shenanigans ensue. A hilarious, heartwarming story of family love, domestic tolerance and lactose intolerance.

Shoe Box
(Horror/Thriller)
In the not-so-distant future (Monday), civilization has been devastated by a plague that turns people into mouth-breathing zombies whenever they think about celebrity gossip. A mother and (of course) her two children have taken sanctuary in an abandoned Nike factory when they are joined by Alyssa Milano (as herself), who convinces the family that she is no longer merely a beloved former child star but a political activist. Is this the loophole that’s the key to Earth’s salvation, or is she a “Dancing With The Stars” Trojan horse of doom? And will Jennifer Anniston ever find true love?

Does This Seem Strange to You?
(Horror)
In a small town where dancing is highly frowned upon if not outright discouraged, the citizens are terrorized by a killer in a Max Headroom mask who preys on girls being ignored on their sixteenth birthday. The town’s only hope is a plucky gang of pre-teens who are really good at Trivial Pursuit. Together, they travel back to the past on flying bicycles in order to find the killer before he listens to Wham! and becomes psychotic. A nostalgic horror that references films set in the 80s that reference films set in the 80s.

Sandler’s List
(Comedy?)
Adam Sandler stars as a mild-mannered Nazi accountant and single dad who helps rescue Jewish prisoners from a concentration camp by distracting the guards with a series of his funniest comedy bits. (Running time: 13 minutes)

Jazz Hands
(Drama/Romance)
An aspiring hand model, Anna, falls in love with Shep, a gifted choreographer determined to revive the Charleston craze. But can their love survive their competing ambitions and the fact that Shep is clearly gay? No.

Oxyfish
(Action)
Part man, part tuna, but mostly tuna, Oxyfish is a hero for our times (2:30 and 4:32). Though raised in the ocean, Oxyfish can survive on land and has the ability to communicate with human creatures through emails, though sometimes these go unanswered for days, hindering his efforts to battle villains and overwhelming special effects. It’s an upstream battle, really. But Oxyfish always tips the fish-scales of justice! In this action-adventure, Oxyfish embarks on a quest to discover who or what is heating the atmosphere, resulting in too many fat men in Speedos trying to cool off in the ocean and bringing down seaside property values. But will Oxyfish have the moral strength to do the right thing? Or will he go bad? Stay tuna-ed! Rated PG: Puns Galore

Blockz
(Animated)
Family-fun animation based on the building-block toys you loved, except not quite the brand you know, the one we’re legally not allowed to mention, though it rhymes with “keggos.”

Quick as a Bunny
(Action)
A gang of international jewel thieves and part-time podiatrists race against time in their souped-up Volkswagen Rabbits in order to capture the priceless Teal Toe Ring before it falls into the hands (and feet) of Russian bad guy Dattis Kwitennoff, their arch-nemesis with the fallen arches. What ensues is a series of implausible stunts, high-speed chases and one gratuitous butt shot. They’re the fast and the piqued! Starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in every role.

The Disgusting Case of Zachary Zippers
(Drama)
The story of a man whose entire digestive track is backwards, and we mean entire! It’s pretty gross, actually. Starring Adam Sandler.

A Star is Born
(Drama/Musical)
We just made it again.

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About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."
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14 Responses to Netflix “Originals”

  1. I’d actually watch most of these. (Apart from the Adam Sandler one. )

  2. Joy says:

    I think I may have been present for some of the speedo beach scenes in Oxytuna. As a frightened observer, I tried to « tuna » out.

  3. ksbeth says:

    in keeping with the wacky wednesday theme, could there be manic monday, tumultuous tuesday, thrifty thursday, etc.?

  4. M. Oniker says:

    News flash: Hulu and Amazon have announced their new “A Star Is Born” (with Amazon’s being a ten-part series), both to be released within twenty-seven minutes of Netflix’s. Totally coincidental.

  5. Oh, Ross. I would send this to every email address in existence if I could. Not a wasted word in it.

    True story: I was stuck in a Volkswagen Rabbit on the Peace Bridge that separates Canada and Buffalo. We broke down in the middle of the bridge and neither country would assist. Eventually, for no good reason, the Rabbit decided to start working again.

    • rossmurray1 says:

      Get this: we have cross-border Mutual Aid here; if there’s a bad fire on our side, the local Vermont department rushes over the border, and vice-versa. Take that, Buffalo/Fort Erie.
      (Full disclosure: I had to look up Fort Erie.)

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