Category Archives: Canada and/or Quebec

The ghost of Stuart McLean describes Canada’s summer of 2017

For optimal effect, please read aloud in front of an enthusiastic live audience of your choosing. It’s a beautiful morning. The kind of morning that makes you want to leap out of bed, put on an old record and wake … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Reasons why my moustache is the most Canadian thing

Canada and my moustache are young. Canada is only 150 years old. My moustache is only five days old. Canada and my moustache were born out of necessity. Canada was created as a means of establishing an east-west alliance between … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

In which I enter a literary contest and don’t expect to win, but still

November There is no way – no way in hell – that a self-published novel, no matter how passable, will win a literary contest. Especially if that novel has a cover that looks like someone left it in a damp … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

New Pot for Old Farts: A Guide

So, you’ve decided you’re going to start smoking pot again. Congratulations! First, though, stop calling it “pot.” These days, the cool kids call it “weed,” and that’s 30 percent the point of this entire exercise, right? To be cool again, … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

A case of refugee envy

Dear Refugees Fleeing Would-Be American Oppression: I see on the news that you’ve been crossing illegally from the U.S. into Canada along our vast and largely unprotected border. It’s been happening in Manitoba and it’s been happening in Hemmingford, Quebec, … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

I want to be the guy who drives the snowplough

O, I want to be the guy who drives the snowplough through the town. A vanquisher of snowstorms, mighty king of streets and roads. How I wish I were admired for my ploughing skills and courage As I drive and … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Townshipslaining the PM

Oh, hi there, Prime Minister Trudeau, or as we say here in the Townships, “hi there.” You see, Justin (may I call you Justin? I think I may), the Eastern Townships is a pretty easygoing place when it comes to … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 51 Comments