Category Archives: Holidays

Your Desperation Christmas Gift Guide

Posted on December 19, 2019 by

Deb and I agreed a long time ago that we would only do stockings for each other at Christmas. But, lo and behold, every Christmas morning, there’s a present for me under the tree marked from the dog or the … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays | Tagged , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Home for the Hollandaise: A Hallmark Christmas Movie

Posted on December 12, 2019 by

I know what you’re thinking: what’s a beautiful, successful New York gal like me doing in a Podunk town like Blamperville? I asked myself the same question when I first got here. Being a beautiful, successful New York journalist with … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Demons

Posted on October 31, 2019 by

1. Be proactive One of the prime mistakes demons make is waiting for lusty teenagers to randomly stumble onto a Portal to Hell in the basement of an abandoned cabin. After all, when you’re a demon condemned for all eternity, … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Yelp review of Bethlehem Best Eastern Inn

Posted on December 20, 2018 by

First of all, Bethlehem: get your act together. One inn? I know it’s a little town of Bethlehem, but, honestly, not even a Super 8 out by the Interdesert? Instead, just one lousy inn for the entire area. And in … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 39 Comments

Absolute Worst Christmas Tea & Bazaar

Posted on December 6, 2018 by

Come one, come all, come those paying in hoarded pennies to the Annual Christmas Tea & Bazaar this Saturday at the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Ennui. We’ve recently lowered the ceiling of our fluorescent-lit basement hall to allow … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , | 30 Comments

Don’t be such a martyr, it’s All Saints Day!

Posted on November 1, 2018 by

Saint Tarafa the Putrid The Holy Hottie of Hungary, Tarafa the Putrid was named Saint of the Year in 1089, winning over the critics and plague-ridden alike with her hit song “Jesus May Have Come to Me (But I Wish … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Never Happened | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

The Pantsing: A Halloween Tale

Posted on October 25, 2018 by

Detective Marilyn Grendel took a drag off her cigarette like a teenage boy giving a hickey. She flicked the spent butt to the ground with a loathing usually reserved for relatives who owe you money. Adjusting her three-dollar blazer over … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Never Happened | Tagged , , , | 32 Comments