Category Archives: It Could Happen…

Satire is stranger than truth which is stranger than fiction which is bigger than a breadbox.

Disaster scenarios ranked by my chances of survival

Posted on April 18, 2019 by

Zombie Apocalypse When the flesh-eating hoard inevitably swarms my home (hopefully, at first, making quick work of the neighbours who are always outside yelling and drinking and therefore easy prey), I stash myself in a virtually unfindable location, my small … Continue reading →

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Finding Inner Peace By Not Giving A Flying Fig About Professional Sports

Posted on January 24, 2019 by

Hello, brother. I couldn’t help but overhear you on this beautiful morning yelling at that squirrel about NFL officiating. If you would stop kicking gravel at the pigeons for a moment, I feel I can help you. Come, sit with … Continue reading →

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Listen to your heart and other body parts

Posted on January 17, 2019 by

When I was initially recovering from prostate surgery, the common advice I got from people was, “Listen to your body.” This was not, of course, in a literal sense, although that could be fun too. (“Hey, kids, come here and … Continue reading →

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Absolute Worst Christmas Tea & Bazaar

Posted on December 6, 2018 by

Come one, come all, come those paying in hoarded pennies to the Annual Christmas Tea & Bazaar this Saturday at the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Ennui. We’ve recently lowered the ceiling of our fluorescent-lit basement hall to allow … Continue reading →

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Funeral for a friend (me)

Posted on September 6, 2018 by

Last week was a week of funerals – celebrity, political and personal. On Saturday, we attended the burial of a close friend of my wife’s family, gathering at the Reedsville Cemetery surrounded by the lush green hills of Hatley Township, … Continue reading →

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In which I am institutionalized

Posted on July 12, 2018 by

When I was a rebellious young man growing up in Antigonish, NS, some construction took place on the grounds of the local university. And surrounding this construction at StFX was some hoarding, high plywood walls painted a pristine white. My … Continue reading →

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Hell is sober people

Posted on May 24, 2018 by

Having consumed my entire life’s quota of alcohol during the first half of my adult life, I no longer drink at all. Recently, though, I had to attend a work-related reception and dinner in Montreal, and though I did not … Continue reading →

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