Category Archives: It Could Happen…

Satire is stranger than truth which is stranger than fiction which is bigger than a breadbox.

Power Wines for 2020

Posted on February 13, 2020 by

Like your fully functioning liver, the three-martini lunch is a thing of the past. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still ruthlessly administer alcohol to get ahead in business, close a professional deal or generally be a dick. One of … Continue reading →

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It’s a Wonderful Soap

Posted on December 5, 2019 by

Donning my traditional Christmas shopping outfit (elf shoes with bells; tights; that’s it), I set out on the weekend to look for gifts at some of the holiday markets that pop up this time of year. I entered the first … Continue reading →

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Yoga: Self-Taught

Posted on November 14, 2019 by

I begin by finding a quiet place. There is snow on the ground, so that means the neighbours have decided the street is a snowmobile drag strip; there is no quiet place. I reach deep within myself to find a … Continue reading →

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SAVE THE ECONOMY!

Posted on September 26, 2019 by

I speak to you today because our ever-growing economy is under threat of growing not quite so very much. Due to direct human action and cheapskate millennials, global wondering is causing you to challenge corporate greed, question the incessant need … Continue reading →

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So your penis is broken…

Posted on July 25, 2019 by

Introduction: Sorry to hear your penis is broken There are many reasons why your penis may be broken: prostate surgery, stress, rampant alcoholism, too much Disney Channel, mangling. But whatever the reason, an inability to ring the butler can cause … Continue reading →

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A letter from your university development office

Posted on July 18, 2019 by

Dear alumnus/alumna/aluminum: Here at Ross Murray University, as we lounge in our yak-skin recliners vaping with impunity, surrounded by floodlit portraits of our beloved founder in various states of undress, we think of you, our former student, as you make … Continue reading →

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Simply mad about the booze

Posted on July 11, 2019 by

It seems not even sobriety will be saved from enjoying a made-for-Instagram moment, with new hashtaggable terms like “mindful drinking” and “sober curious.” No longer do you have to feel left out or uncool for being sober. You maybe don’t … Continue reading →

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