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According to ancient texts (1970s Beautyrest ads), man has long quested after the fabled good night’s sleep. Woman has sought after it too but at least knew to shut up about it and get on with her day. But does … Continue reading →
Every year, over 10,000 Canadians suffer gym-related injuries, a figure that is as astounding as it is entirely fabricated. In truth, no one knows exactly how many Canadians are injured at the gym because Canadians are notoriously reluctant to put … Continue reading →
Pardon me? “We’re landing on my roof”? I’m sorry, I think I misunderstood you. I’m afraid I have trouble hearing. That’s why I’m standing here alone in the corner of this cocktail party. Ha-ha! I bet you thought I was … Continue reading →
Gentlemen, ladies, small ferret in the corner wearing a top hat for some reason: thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I think you’ll find the business opportunity I’m about to present to you today demonstrates impressive ROI … Continue reading →
In January, columnist, writer and candle-wax aficionado Ross Murray announced to the world and his therapist that every one of his 2020 columns would reference a cat or cat-adjacent subject. The world scoffed. His therapist relocated offices. And yet, 52 … Continue reading →