Category Archives: It Really Did Happen!

The crumbs and animal hair of real life.

I, Gen X, Am Telling You Everything Was Twenty Years Ago

The 1980s were twenty years ago. That’s just how it is. Don’t give me “math” or “logic” or “you have early onset whatchamacallit.” We won’t be convinced by your so-called “facts.” We are Gen X; we’ve committed our entire lives … Continue reading

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A Message From My Children’s Homemade Cards

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What do you think you’re doing there, guy? We’re your children’s homemade greeting cards. You weren’t going to throw us out, were you? Let’s not do anything rash. That’s right, put the papers down. Yes, we realize … Continue reading

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Dear John (and Margaret and Doreen and Larry and Alphonse and…)

It’s not you, it’s me. Shush, shush. No, don’t speak… It was 17 years ago on this very day that we first ran across each other.* Do you remember? You were a longstanding, traditional newspaper readership and I was a … Continue reading

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Sizzlin’ Pop

Guys! Hey, guys! Ohmigod, guess what? No, seriously, guess. Parachute pants are coming back in style? No. Rudy Giuliani was stuffed into parachute pants and then dropped out of a plane without, ironically, a parachute? I wish! But no. You … Continue reading

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Pour Some Sugar in Me

I’m a father. I like sugar. I’m a sugar daddy. No? Not how that works? I do like my sweets, though. Always have. I don’t know where the sweet tooth comes from, whether it’s something I was born with or … Continue reading

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