Category Archives: It Really Did Happen!

The crumbs and animal hair of real life.

If my nose is running, my thoughts are leaking

Those scientists, always doing studies. It’s as if they have nothing better to do. Instead of “studying” things, why aren’t they working on those jet cars we were promised? Where’s my pill in a meal? And the current lack of … Continue reading

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A bad week for words

If you were in Hawaii last Saturday, you may have suffered 40 minutes of uncertainty when someone accidentally pressed a button warning that a ballistic missile was heading your way. I suppose it must have been horrible, but screw you! … Continue reading

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The spit is in the mail

For Christmas, our eldest daughter ordered me an ancestry DNA kit. Through analysis of my genetic source code, I will soon know exactly where I come from and whom to blame. That’s really what we look for when we begin … Continue reading

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It takes a village to start a car

When it came to our car battery, I knew we were playing with fire. Or rather lack of fire. It had come to the point where simply leaving the key in the ignition would drain it. But we had a … Continue reading

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How The Last Jedi made me a little less stupid

I got stupider in 2017. My stupidity manifests itself in different ways. Sometimes it’s difficulty in processing instructions. Sometimes it’s mangling words. Sometimes it’s this blog. (See “My Therapy Toaster,” September 21.) For a while, I attributed my new stupidity … Continue reading

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Bad Black Friday Ideas

Shooters for Shoppers: 40% off on selected items; 40% alcohol in gulp-size portions “We’ve eliminated janitorial services and passed the savings on to YOU!” Extra 10% off for all men sexier than Blake Shelton (limited to the first 10,000 customers) … Continue reading

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Not to mention “Daddy’s Home 2”

My wife and I recently took advantage of a much-needed getaway weekend, and we did what most couples do when they ditch the kids and the pets and the chores and find themselves alone in a hotel room: we watched … Continue reading

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