A Hole in the Ground – A Novel
- The heartbreak of creativity: a public service announcement
- If I sue, will it be in litter-gation?
- What to do in the event you wake up Tuesday morning and Stephen Harper is still Prime Minister
- I am carrying this live skunk to protest everything Donald Trump stands for
- This land is my land, or how do you make a Nippising?
- Searching for the parental sweet spot
I say the tweetest thingsMy Tweets
Category Archives: Never Happened
It started with a body on a bus. This was followed by a second body on a bus. The interval between the discoveries was so brief that it felt like it couldn’t be a coincidence, though it proved to be … Continue reading
No, this isn’t a “toaster” I’m holding on my lap. It is my therapy toaster, and, no, I will not put it in the overhead compartment, because that would clearly defeat the purpose of bringing my therapy toaster onto this … Continue reading
“Stevie Wonder is a straight-up national treasure” – Chicago Reader, November 17, 2014 “Betty White is a national treasure.” – George Takei, Facebook, October 11, 2011 “Robbie Robertson of The Band described [Gordon] Lightfoot as ‘a national treasure.’” – Wikipedia.com … Continue reading
For optimal effect, please read aloud in front of an enthusiastic live audience of your choosing. It’s a beautiful morning. The kind of morning that makes you want to leap out of bed, put on an old record and wake … Continue reading
It’s so nice to have you reporterbots from GoogleThought drilling into my consciousness for an interview. I remember when I was a flesh reporter and I had to do these stories by actually talking to old people. Human contact was … Continue reading
Madam Chancellor, distinguished guests, parents, Class of 2017: I know you are expecting me at this point to introduce our celebrity commencement speaker. After all, the least we can do after your three to five years of academic struggle and … Continue reading