Category Archives: Never Happened

If brain begins leaking, apply pressure

My 30 Years in the Townships: You’re Welcome*

This fall marks the 30th anniversary of my arrival in the Eastern Townships. I thought the Town of Stanstead would be planning a parade to mark the occasion, but my wife is a municipal councillor and there was a conflict … Continue reading

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GODZILLA vs BILLY JOEL – Battle for Long Island: The Final Chapter!

[Scene: Inside a secret government compound, Patchogue] GENERAL FORTISSIMO: Dammit, Billy Joel! You’re the only man who can save Long Island from being wiped off the face of the Earth by that rampaging giant lizard! Godzilla has already stomped Sagaponack … Continue reading

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Border Story Story

DERBY LINE, Vt. — For generations, the sleepy towns of Stanstead, Quebec, and Derby Line, Vermont, have slumbered together in the proverbial twin beds of neighboring border communities. Most of the time, the two towns have dreamed their separate dreams … Continue reading

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These Missed Details Will Change the Way You See These Classic 80s Films!

The Breakfast Club If Vice-Principal Gleason seems especially irritable during Saturday morning detentions, it’s because he has been dealing all week with parents demanding censorship of controversial books. That’s why you’ll notice there are no copies of Judy Blume’s Forever … Continue reading

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What’s Up? Docs!

Now that we’ve all watched every new show on Netflix, people are discovering that most video streaming services are like the basement level of old video stores on those nights when all the new releases were rented out. Thank goodness … Continue reading

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