A Hole in the Ground – A Novel
- The heartbreak of creativity: a public service announcement
- If I sue, will it be in litter-gation?
- What to do in the event you wake up Tuesday morning and Stephen Harper is still Prime Minister
- I am carrying this live skunk to protest everything Donald Trump stands for
- This land is my land, or how do you make a Nippising?
- Home alone… with pets
I say the tweetest thingsMy Tweets
Category Archives: Never Happened
For optimal effect, please read aloud in front of an enthusiastic live audience of your choosing. It’s a beautiful morning. The kind of morning that makes you want to leap out of bed, put on an old record and wake … Continue reading
It’s so nice to have you reporterbots from GoogleThought drilling into my consciousness for an interview. I remember when I was a flesh reporter and I had to do these stories by actually talking to old people. Human contact was … Continue reading
Madam Chancellor, distinguished guests, parents, Class of 2017: I know you are expecting me at this point to introduce our celebrity commencement speaker. After all, the least we can do after your three to five years of academic struggle and … Continue reading
The management would like to inform you that, in accordance with our recently adopted policy on heightened inclusivity and respect for species fluidity, March is no longer exclusively required to come in like a lamb and go out like a … Continue reading
1 AD @realBethlehemTrump Just read Old Testament. Not good. God did very bad job. All smiting, zero job creation. New Testament will be world-class, trust me. Congratulations @HolyMary on fantastic birth. Great woman, totally a virgin. Shows what science knows … Continue reading