Tag Archives: aging

Have you seen this nostalgic man?

Lost: male, white, 52, gently used. Wears glasses and occasional beard when the benefits of not shaving outweigh the benefits of not itching. English speaking, French faking. Distinguishing characteristics: avoids eye contact and commitments. Last seen in Nova Scotia, in … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , | 27 Comments

Me, age 110, explaining the secret of my longevity

It’s so nice to have you reporterbots from GoogleThought drilling into my consciousness for an interview. I remember when I was a flesh reporter and I had to do these stories by actually talking to old people. Human contact was … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Happy BirthSelfCareDay to Me

Today I turn 51. That means I am no longer 50. I am in my fifities, which is like being in debt; there’s no getting out of it. My eyebrow hairs stayed a uniform length for the better part of … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 40 Comments

This old house painter

If you ever want to see how your body changes over time, just paint your house every eight years or so. I started painting houses in my teens. I went on to work for two summers with College Pro, though … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , | 38 Comments

We are all 50 together. Forever!

Now that the Canadian federal election is over and we’ve wiped the rabid foam off our television and computer screens, we can all stop pretending we know what we’re talking about and get back to what’s really important in this … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 60 Comments

Ankle-deep in marriage

My wife and I cringe as we tiptoe onto the first step of our swimming pool. We’re up to our ankles, and that’s where we’ll stand for some time, because it’s scientifically proven that cold water is way colder than … Continue reading

Posted in Family - whadya gonna do?, It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , | 45 Comments


The strangest thing happened to me the other day. Well, maybe not the strangest thing. The strangest thing would be if a pie plate floated into the room and started singing show tunes in the voice of Abe Lincoln. A … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen!, Reading? Ugh! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 39 Comments