Tag Archives: Donald Trump

How to take care of yourself

I recently came to a conclusion: Donald Trump gave me cancer. When I had my checkup in the summer of 2016, my prostate was slightly enlarged but nothing to worry about, my doctor said. People felt the same way about … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

It’s hard to move forward when your knee is jerking

Just over a week ago, Deb and I booked accommodations for our New York City trip in August. We did extensive research (“Which listing comes up first in Airbnb?”) and put down our deposit. A few days later, U.S. President … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

A bad week for words

If you were in Hawaii last Saturday, you may have suffered 40 minutes of uncertainty when someone accidentally pressed a button warning that a ballistic missile was heading your way. I suppose it must have been horrible, but screw you! … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , | 37 Comments

The ghost of Stuart McLean describes Canada’s summer of 2017

For optimal effect, please read aloud in front of an enthusiastic live audience of your choosing. It’s a beautiful morning. The kind of morning that makes you want to leap out of bed, put on an old record and wake … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

I am carrying this live skunk to protest everything Donald Trump stands for

For the past weeks, as I’ve watched the presidency of Donald Trump unfurl like a deep-fried blooming onion at a county fair – unhealthy, nauseating, greasy – I have asked myself, how can I make my voice heard? How can … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , | 48 Comments

January Newsletter of Russian Cyber-Hackers Local 301

Mildly Oppressive New Year, Comrades. Holiday season is over in decadent West. Many bourgeois families woke on morning of Magical Jesus Holiday to find new electronic devices under freshly killed living room tree. It is musical ringtone to Mother Russia’s … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

Trumps of Christmas Past

1 AD @realBethlehemTrump Just read Old Testament. Not good. God did very bad job. All smiting, zero job creation. New Testament will be world-class, trust me. Congratulations @HolyMary on fantastic birth. Great woman, totally a virgin. Shows what science knows … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , | 33 Comments