Tag Archives: humor

It’s a Wonderful Soap

Donning my traditional Christmas shopping outfit (elf shoes with bells; tights; that’s it), I set out on the weekend to look for gifts at some of the holiday markets that pop up this time of year. I entered the first … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Riffing on rims

Rims. We got rims. Rims for sale, rims to give. For all your rim needs. Rims R Us. Rim-A-Palooza. Rim-Tin-Tin. Fill it to the brim with rims. We got tires on rims. Rims on tires, just in a great big, … Continue reading

Posted in Reading? Ugh! | Tagged , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Yoga: Self-Taught

I begin by finding a quiet place. There is snow on the ground, so that means the neighbours have decided the street is a snowmobile drag strip; there is no quiet place. I reach deep within myself to find a … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , | 37 Comments

Caucus? Barely open to us

A Stanstead, Quebec, town councillor is proposing a new municipal tax on babies’ eyeballs. Each new baby born in the Town of Stanstead will be charged $6 for one eyeball, a bargain $10 for two eyeballs. If you’re a baby born … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Demons

1. Be proactive One of the prime mistakes demons make is waiting for lusty teenagers to randomly stumble onto a Portal to Hell in the basement of an abandoned cabin. After all, when you’re a demon condemned for all eternity, … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

How to write a humour column

People sometimes come up to me and ask, “Excuse me, what’s the price of this cabbage?” to which I reply, “Sorry, I don’t work in the Produce Department; I simply enjoy the refreshing mist when they water the lettuce.” But … Continue reading

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , | 26 Comments

In my alternate-universe election, everyone chooses thoughtfully

wThe Canadian federal election is Monday, and I can’t remember ever feeling so conflicted about casting my vote. Do I vote with my head? With my heart? With a pink pencil crayon? So many variables! It’s especially hard here in … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec | Tagged , , , , , | 20 Comments