Tag Archives: humor

Fear of phone

Whenever I’m feeling old (AKA any given day), I like knowing that I can phone myself at the office, let it go to voicemail and hear the youthful tones of myself from 13 years ago telling strangers that I will … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Don’t be such a martyr, it’s All Saints Day!

Saint Tarafa the Putrid The Holy Hottie of Hungary, Tarafa the Putrid was named Saint of the Year in 1089, winning over the critics and plague-ridden alike with her hit song “Jesus May Have Come to Me (But I Wish … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Never Happened | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

The Pantsing: A Halloween Tale

Detective Marilyn Grendel took a drag off her cigarette like a teenage boy giving a hickey. She flicked the spent butt to the ground with a loathing usually reserved for relatives who owe you money. Adjusting her three-dollar blazer over … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Never Happened | Tagged , , , | 32 Comments

In a blazer of glory

The last sports jacket I bought I had to ask the lady to put it aside for me while I ran home from her yard sale to find the 5 bucks. It’s wool and cashmere with a rich taupe colour, … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Reply-all escalation

From: david.jones@bci.com| To: reg.carl@bci.com; staff@bci.com Subject: Re: News from Peggy Thanks for the update, Reg. Also, don’t forget to send me that link for the beard balm. ­—- Hi, everybody. Sorry for the reply-all. LOL. —- Hi again. Yes, I … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Happy Thanksgendering

Everyone, please? Everyone? If you could all stop arguing for a minute. Really, it doesn’t matter how you’d vote in the midterm elections. We’re Canadian, remember? Uncle Gary, if you wouldn’t mind putting your shirt back on. Yes, it’s an … Continue reading

Posted in Reading? Ugh! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Get along, little Doggie

My parents are preparing to move into an apartment after more than 50 years in their home. This means they are dealing with the three rules of real estate: location, location, what are we going to do with all this … Continue reading

Posted in Reading? Ugh! | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments