Tag Archives: humor

Advice from my father

Posted on June 13, 2019 by

First be kind, then be tough. It is better to listen than to speak, smarter to think than to react. If you treat others with respect, they will respect you and your tentacle-like appendage. Master five good meal recipes. Know … Continue reading →

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , | 12 Comments

How not to die on Mount Everest

Posted on May 30, 2019 by

More than 300 people have died climbing Mount Everest over the past nearly 100 years. This season alone, the death toll has reached 11, primarily caused by overcrowded trails hindering oxygen-deprived climbers from ascending or descending. As a public service, … Continue reading →

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , | 25 Comments

A Guide to the Toronto Raptors for Americans

Posted on May 28, 2019 by

A form of basketball was played by the Ojibwe people on Lake Ontario and went by the name of “beaktukk tagaka,” which, roughly translated, means “lacrosse played badly.” Almonte, Ontario native James Naismith “invented” basketball in 1891 by stealing it … Continue reading →

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New law restricts a woman’s right to shoes

Posted on May 23, 2019 by

Fresh off the most hardline abortion legislation in generations, several US states are now planning to regulate not just what women can do with their bodies but what they can wear on them. Specifically, their feet. Alabama is the first … Continue reading →

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Notes from an ongoing territorial dispute with the cats

Posted on May 9, 2019 by

Background The queen-size bed situated within the master bedroom (hereinafter known as the Territory) has been officially occupied by two economic partners for more than two decades, and clear title and ownership of said Territory is undisputed, with divisions between … Continue reading →

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Thoughts on Avengers: End Tables (with more spoilers than a Stanstead car show)

Posted on May 2, 2019 by

When we last left our heroes in Avengers: Infinity Loop, the villainous Thermos had obtained all six Infinity Carbuncles and with a snap of his fingers had caused a waiter to appear with his bill. After heinously paying in coins … Continue reading →

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Finding some direction

Posted on April 25, 2019 by

My high school piano teacher would often become exasperated with me, and not just for the usual reasons that go along with being an exasperating teenage smart ass (me, not my piano teacher). She would become exasperated when I couldn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in It Really Did Happen!, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments