Tag Archives: middle age

New Pot for Old Farts: A Guide

So, you’ve decided you’re going to start smoking pot again. Congratulations! First, though, stop calling it “pot.” These days, the cool kids call it “weed,” and that’s 30 percent the point of this entire exercise, right? To be cool again, … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

Happy BirthSelfCareDay to Me

Today I turn 51. That means I am no longer 50. I am in my fifities, which is like being in debt; there’s no getting out of it. My eyebrow hairs stayed a uniform length for the better part of … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 40 Comments

This old house painter

If you ever want to see how your body changes over time, just paint your house every eight years or so. I started painting houses in my teens. I went on to work for two summers with College Pro, though … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , | 38 Comments

Could someone please answer the foot?

I was sitting in my office, working the work, when the sole of my foot started vibrating. It was very subtle, like maybe there was machinery operating under the floor. It wasn’t a steady vibration but starting and stopping, with … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , | 39 Comments

50 phrases I didn’t hear on my 50th birthday

Preternaturally young looking “50 is the new 49.” “How lucky to have been born in the sixties but have absolutely no memories of them.” Wunderkind “Take the day off.” Uncannily virile “Not everyone is so confident in their firmly established … Continue reading

Posted in Reading? Ugh! | Tagged , , , , , | 51 Comments

We are all 50 together. Forever!

Now that the Canadian federal election is over and we’ve wiped the rabid foam off our television and computer screens, we can all stop pretending we know what we’re talking about and get back to what’s really important in this … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 60 Comments

Ankle-deep in marriage

My wife and I cringe as we tiptoe onto the first step of our swimming pool. We’re up to our ankles, and that’s where we’ll stand for some time, because it’s scientifically proven that cold water is way colder than … Continue reading

Posted in Family - whadya gonna do?, It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , | 45 Comments