Tag Archives: satire

Branding: Not Just for Cattle Anymore

Introduction: A New Ross Murray for a Sort of New Millennium The Ross Murray brand was first established over 50 years ago and has undergone several iterations – Bad Haircut Ross Murray, Artsy Ross Murray, Ladies’ Man Ross Murray (recalled), … Continue reading

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Spook-ular values: A Halloween parable

It started with a body on a bus. This was followed by a second body on a bus. The interval between the discoveries was so brief that it felt like it couldn’t be a coincidence, though it proved to be … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Gushing over local tap water

“Residents of Sherbrooke are drinking the best tap water in Quebec, according to a jury made up of water experts and a sommelier…. The winning choice was based on clarity, odour and taste, much like wine is judged.” – CBC … Continue reading

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Please do not hassle me about my therapy toaster

No, this isn’t a “toaster” I’m holding on my lap. It is my therapy toaster, and, no, I will not put it in the overhead compartment, because that would clearly defeat the purpose of bringing my therapy toaster onto this … Continue reading

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I am a national treasure

“Stevie Wonder is a straight-up national treasure” – Chicago Reader, November 17, 2014 “Betty White is a national treasure.” – George Takei, Facebook, October 11, 2011 “Robbie Robertson of The Band described [Gordon] Lightfoot as ‘a national treasure.’” – Wikipedia.com … Continue reading

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Me, age 110, explaining the secret of my longevity

It’s so nice to have you reporterbots from GoogleThought drilling into my consciousness for an interview. I remember when I was a flesh reporter and I had to do these stories by actually talking to old people. Human contact was … Continue reading

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Please support this thing that is more important than those other things

For far too long, our society has turned a blind eye to this thing. It’s outrageous. Disgusting. Poopy. When I think about what this thing is doing and sometimes what it is not doing and the people this thing is … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments