Tag Archives: shopping

Absolute Worst Christmas Tea & Bazaar

Come one, come all, come those paying in hoarded pennies to the Annual Christmas Tea & Bazaar this Saturday at the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Ennui. We’ve recently lowered the ceiling of our fluorescent-lit basement hall to allow … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , | 29 Comments

In a blazer of glory

The last sports jacket I bought I had to ask the lady to put it aside for me while I ran home from her yard sale to find the 5 bucks. It’s wool and cashmere with a rich taupe colour, … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Bad Black Friday Ideas

Shooters for Shoppers: 40% off on selected items; 40% alcohol in gulp-size portions “We’ve eliminated janitorial services and passed the savings on to YOU!” Extra 10% off for all men sexier than Blake Shelton (limited to the first 10,000 customers) … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , | 19 Comments

Touching strangers at Christmas

Does the world stink? I mean, literally, does everyone smell bad? Are we especially pungent at Christmas? Is it the eggnog? I ask because people sure do like their soaps. They really get excited about their soaps. You could even … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Shopping the laughless blues away

Sometimes you have to know when to give up. I’m a humorist. I used to write serious newspaper editorials, and it still blows my mind how I could churn out clear logic and rhetoric on deadline week after week. And … Continue reading

Posted in Turn that radio on!, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

The Night Before the Night Before Christmas

One last piece before Christmas. This bit of audio aired yesterday on CBC Radio’s “Breakaway” out of Quebec City, hence the title. To all my friends on WordPress: Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Wondrous Good Times!   With apologies to Clement … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Turn that radio on! | Tagged , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Sorting Wrapped Gifts on a Snowy Evening

Whose gift this is I do not know I wrapped it seven days ago. There’s no distinctive marking here Except this festive store-bought bow. The box’s shape is kind of queer Two lumpy mounds like a brassiere But feels like … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Reading? Ugh! | Tagged , , , , , , | 23 Comments