Whenever I’m feeling old (AKA any given day), I like knowing that I can phone myself at the office, let it go to voicemail and hear the youthful tones of myself from 13 years ago telling strangers that I will … Continue reading
An acquaintance reacted to news that I don’t own a cell phone with the combination of ridicule and disbelief normally reserved for people who vote for the Green Party. “You must have a cell phone,” he said. “No, I honestly … Continue reading
Posted in It Really Did Happen!
Tagged 1995, cell phones, GPS, humor, iPhone, let's get lost, life, Luddite, smug bastard, technology, That "Autocorrect slacks" joke doesn't really work..., travel
It is with great pleasure and a scoop of ice cream on the side that I announce today that I have been acquired by Google. After many long hours of negotiations, plus minutes of Greco-Roman wrestling and one romantic weekend … Continue reading
Posted in Never Happened
Tagged end of choice, Google, Google buys Songza, Googleocracy, humor, internet, jerkface, satire, search engine preferences, SEO, technology
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there is in turning up your iPod and avoiding eye contact with that homeless person. As far as possible without surrender answer texts promptly, for they may reply with … Continue reading
Posted in Never Happened, Turn that radio on!
Tagged advice, alienation, Desiderata, humor, internet, modern Desiderata, modern times, satire, technology, the Westfalia is going to his head, updated Desiderata