Tag Archives: Trump

It’s Not Over Until I Say It’s Not Over

I won that game of Monopoly on Boxing Day. I won. It’s as clear as anything I won. I had Park Place, I had Boardwalk, I had so many railroads you wouldn’t believe. I had many, many other very successful … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

The History of Canadian Trumpsgiving

  While most people are familiar with the story of the first American Trumpsgiving—the pilgrims, the feast at the golf course owned by the pilgrims, inviting the natives to join the feast, assessing the natives a service charge for the … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Me, age 110, explaining the secret of my longevity

It’s so nice to have you reporterbots from GoogleThought drilling into my consciousness for an interview. I remember when I was a flesh reporter and I had to do these stories by actually talking to old people. Human contact was … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

A case of refugee envy

Dear Refugees Fleeing Would-Be American Oppression: I see on the news that you’ve been crossing illegally from the U.S. into Canada along our vast and largely unprotected border. It’s been happening in Manitoba and it’s been happening in Hemmingford, Quebec, … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

Happy BirthSelfCareDay to Me

Today I turn 51. That means I am no longer 50. I am in my fifities, which is like being in debt; there’s no getting out of it. My eyebrow hairs stayed a uniform length for the better part of … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 40 Comments