Tag Archives: Trump

Me, age 110, explaining the secret of my longevity

It’s so nice to have you reporterbots from GoogleThought drilling into my consciousness for an interview. I remember when I was a flesh reporter and I had to do these stories by actually talking to old people. Human contact was … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

A case of refugee envy

Dear Refugees Fleeing Would-Be American Oppression: I see on the news that you’ve been crossing illegally from the U.S. into Canada along our vast and largely unprotected border. It’s been happening in Manitoba and it’s been happening in Hemmingford, Quebec, … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

Happy BirthSelfCareDay to Me

Today I turn 51. That means I am no longer 50. I am in my fifities, which is like being in debt; there’s no getting out of it. My eyebrow hairs stayed a uniform length for the better part of … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 40 Comments