About

Oh hi there! How’s it going? Would you like some tea? Earl Grey? It’s okay, it’s decaf. It won’t keep you up. I know you have a big day tomorrow.

So what would you like to know? (Sugar? Milk? No? Excellent…!) About this blog? It’s funny. Next question? Do I bare my soul like it’s an all-you-can-spill therapy spree? No, I’m a white man from Nova Scotia with a Presbyterian Scottish background so I keep my feelings where they belong — deeply, deeply repressed.

About the name of this blog? “Drinking Tips for Teens” is to me just the perfect title of a piece I will someday write finally wrote. It’s a necessary piece because young people are going about underage drinking all wrong! I have some good experience and advice to offer. Someday…

About me? I live on the Canada-U.S. border in Stanstead, Quebec. You might see my kids up on the banner. Adorable, right? Or maybe it’s a cat. Stupid cat! My weekly humour column appears in The Sherbrooke Record, for which I was awarded Best Columnist by the Quebec Community Newspapers Association for 2008 and 2013. I also record a bi-weekly radio piece for “Breakaway” on CBC’s Quebec Community Network. A collection of my columns, You’re Not Going to Eat That, Are You?, was published by Townships Publications Canton in 2010, with a second, Don’t Everyone Jump at Once, published in 2013 by Blue Ice Books. Look for my debut novel, A Hole in the Ground fall 2016. My work has also appeared on McSweeneys, Errant Parent, The Yellow Ham and The Big Jewel and CBC’s WireTap.

It’s a good life. It’s a good blog. Enjoy.

I hope that my not wearing pants hasn’t made you uncomfortable.

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108 Responses to About

  1. enjoyed your blog and nominated you for reader appreciation award http://jilliankermani.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/148/

  2. letizia says:

    Thanks for following my blog – which then lead me to your delightful one. I love your writing style (and the name of your blog is just wonderful, not to mention the photo header!)

  3. Nice to meet another Canadian blogger. Great pic of the kiddies, BTW.

  4. Hi! I’ve nominated you for the very inspiring blog award ~ it will be published Sat 1/5/2013.

  5. Kylie says:

    And you must be a U2 fan also. “I will follow… I will follow.”

  6. Pingback: It’s a major award! | Glory Of Zig

  7. Lily says:

    Thanks for following the blog! You have a nice one here yourself!

  8. MissFourEyes says:

    Now why would your not wearing pants make us uncomfortable?

  9. tgeorges1123 says:

    You won a Inspiring Something or other on my page. I know you don’t need my stinkin’ award – I just want others to be able to bask in your awesomeness. Or whatever it is you’ve got going on. http://bit.ly/12h9NWd

    • rossmurray1 says:

      I just saw that! And my polar bear and I are tearing up a little. (Isn’t it weird that “tearing” can mean “crying” and also, pronounced differently, “ripping to shreds”? Isn’t it weirder still that my polar bear and I are in fact doing both those things simultaneously?) Thanks so much. I’ll be sure to publicly acknowledge this in some vague but gracious way.

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  15. lyndzeerae27 says:

    Great ‘About page’ Love it!!! 🙂

  16. Just did an award post and listed you as one of the nominees. Please take it or leave it, but just know I’ve really enjoyed your blog and wanted to say “thanks!”. http://thegreenstudy.com/2013/06/20/the-awards-show-part-5/

  17. Say, you have a vaguely geeky aura (geeky as in I Know More About Computer Stuff Than You Do, not geeky as in I Went to Prom Stag) so maybe you know the answer to this one….

    I’ve noticed that when I do a search on “cats” on your site (that is, actually searching within your WordPress site using your own Search box, not Google), many search results pull up in a list but when I do a search on a relevant topic on my own site, only one item pulls up at a time even though I know there are many relevant hits. It’s annoying; people think I only wrote one post on each topic. I put this question to the forums but the WordPress support person that answered me is either drunk or doesn’t understand English. Can’t decide which.

    Do you have your front page set to show only one post at a time or multiple posts? If you have it set to one, then your site puts to rest my question of whether different themes allow more than one search result to pop up within them at a time. If you have it set to multiple posts, then in the immortal words of Eddie Murphy, “I be screwed.”

    Please let me know either way as I am eager to stick it to that support person if I am right. Thank you.

    Anna

    PS: Cats rock. I have seduced the neighbor’s cat to the Dark Side with fresh catnip from my garden. Muwah-ha-ha!

  18. Update: I was right but the WordPress support person backed me up so I can’t stick it to them now. Sigh. And I had my torch and pitchfork all ready, too. I’ll have to go out and do some burning and pillaging elsewhere.

    Anna

    • rossmurray1 says:

      Glad you got it all sorted out because, my geeky facade notwithstanding, I am merely a WordPress dabbler. I do find their search unreliable, though. It has failed to find posts I know I’ve written. What about adding a tag cloud as a widget to help people find your posts?
      Also: Who doesn’t love a good pillage?

      • Ha, ha–thanks for the good laugh. Yeah, I’ve had a tag cloud since day one. But it seems that no matter how you search, certain WordPress themes will only display one search result at a time. Snort!

        The only pillaging I ended up doing was on a gourmet chocolate bar but the carnage was awesome.

        Thanks,

        Anna

  19. Karen says:

    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. I wrote a piece long ago that one of the ways to get Freshly Pressed is to write about your pet cats, and just letting you know, I’m using your post as supporting evidence, and labeling it Exhibit B (one of my Freshly Pressed posts is Exhibit A) 😉

    • rossmurray1 says:

      You may be onto something because, as pleased and grateful as I am, I’m scratching my head why this particular post was FPed. It’s not my best work. If it’s any consolation, though, it’s not getting anything near the hits that my first FP got, which may mean cats are the editors’ bias, not the readers’ preference. This also tells me I need to stop writing about my pets. Thank you, by the way.

  20. Dear Mr. Murray,
    I really enjoy your blog. You are hilariously funny and create exceptional satire. This is something I aspire to. I read your work and after laughing sufficiently about it, I sit and analyze the words “How does he do that?”
    Basically I’m emailing to tell you that your work is great. And that as a new writer and a humour writer I look up to you.
    I even nominated you for an award.

    http://iamthegreatunwashed.com/2013/07/16/neil-patrick-harris-turned-me-down-again-then-asked-me-to-stop-calling-him-but-this-is-still-an-awards-show/

    It’s WordPress’s equivalent of a participation award but gosh darn it I was so excited to receive it. And I wanted to pass it along to you, because I think writers need to encourage one another. Unlike teaching or basically any other job writing, is a completely solitary activity. It’s tough, so it’s nice when other people tell you that they appreciate what you’re doing.
    I wrote questions for you. My Mom thinks they’re funny.
    Ten Questions That I’m Posing To Bloggers
    1. If you had to choose between Anna Karenina, War and Peace and Steve Martin’s acclaimed novella “Shopgirl” which book would be the best weapon in a bar fight?
    2. What is the longest period you’ve ever gone without bathing? Please note, stays in Turkish prisons do not count.
    3. You’ve decided to take on three additional husbands and or wives, who are they? Both living and dead people may be included, although admittedly an attraction to the deceased is a little beyond me.
    4. What is your most unfortunate public transportation story?
    5. Go back in time, you’re attempting to sell your five year old sibling, what is your asking price?
    6. In a bid to secure the Guinness World Record for “Longest and Highest Transport of Tom Cruise” you’ve decided to piggyback this superstar across the Andes. What phrase do you repeat to yourself during the tough parts of the trek to spur yourself onwards when Tom’s pointy hip bones are digging into your spine?
    7. What do you consider to be a valid reason for a hunger strike?
    8. Name three items you hide from your spouse or significant other or even better, yourself.
    9. Where are the hiding places for these items? Wait! Don’t tell me, I’m a terrible secret keeper.
    10. How do you feel about my interviewing skills? Will they make Oprah love me?
    Thanks for reading and please keep writing, I look forward to your posts.
    Much fondness,
    Sarah
    iamthegreatunwashed.com

    • rossmurray1 says:

      Hi Sarah,
      Flattery will get you everywhere. Except Rimouski, for some reason. Thanks for the award. I love your questions; very surreal. I will do my best to answer them, though it might not be right away. I’ve even pasted them into a post draft to remind me.
      As for how I do it, I do it by doing it a lot. So keep doing it. Wait, we’re still talking about writing, right?
      Oh, and call me Ross. Mr. Murray is my parole officer.

  21. nobsj says:

    pants schmants!

  22. shalilah2002 says:

    I like your blog. I think you’ll like mine. I am following you.

  23. Tag! You’re it! I’ve chosen you for The Versatile Blogger Award! Follow this link back to my post to find out more … http://puckerupbuttercup.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/let-me-entertain-you/
    Congratulations!

    And yes, I see that you’re already a recipient. But I don’t think that precludes you from being recognized for your excellence again. I do, however, think it gets you off the hook for having to go through the whole Q&A/nomination ritual again.

    • rossmurray1 says:

      I feel strangely validated by this award. Thanks very much. And thank you for the “Get Out Of Jail Free” card. You totally get me. Seriously, I do appreciate the nod.

  24. Pingback: Right, time for some awards… | My Top Fives...

  25. ddupre315 says:

    Best “about me” I’ve read in some time. I see and laugh at your comments on blogs I follow and for some reason it has taken a while for me to come see your blog. Loving it so far. Yer funny n stuff.

  26. Ned's Blog says:

    I just wanted to get away from the comment string and seriously thank you for pointing out my bloopers in today’s post, and to apologize. I haven’t made a mistake that big since as far back as I can remember, which was my last post. Truly, thanks my friend. And again, my apologies.

  27. rossmurray1 says:

    Good lord, no need to apologize. I pointed them out just to be a smart-ass. Now I feel like a wanker for making you feel bad. So it’s me who should apologize. It’s a vicious cycle…

    • Ned's Blog says:

      No! It is I who should apologize for making you feel like you should apologize, so please accept my most apologetic apologies, and I mean that most apologetically… wanker 😉

  28. salmanalvi says:

    I’m lov’in your blog fellow Canadian. Had to press follow! Looking forward to your posts.

  29. markbialczak says:

    I see that you have some WordPress award badges on this page, Ross. Well, now, I am nominating you for the granddaddy, the big kahuna, the pick-seven of these things because, well, I like to read your work. I nominate you for The Seven Awards, and I hope it has some good luck involved with it, too.
    http://markbialczak.com/2014/03/04/this-award-come-in-sevens-an-amazing-bundle/

  30. I’m not shy, I just have more wrinkles than you and you called yourself old-looking in one of your posts and I’m fifty and a woman so where does that leave me? I guess with more wrinkles. I like your style. I love your family values. I adore your humor. Many folks don’t wear humor well – you’ve got yourself a tailored suit my friend. I will read on here, expecting no less than a hearty chuckle and generous belly thwomp!
    AnnMarie
    new blogger, old wrinkled person

  31. J-Bo says:

    Hello!

    I’ve been enjoying your posts. I was wondering if you would be interested in participating in a Blog Tour on the writing process. Long story short, you would answer 4 questions about what you’re writing and your writing process and then pass the torch onto 3 other writers. Let me know. Will send details if you’re interested.

    J-Bo

  32. Slo-Man says:

    Nice! Very cool About page and very funny writing style. I shall follow and so will the LastWord :).

  33. Trent Lewin says:

    I always thought of you as an Ontarian. I don’t know why. Take no offence! PS. I love Wire Tap so much it hurts.

    • rossmurray1 says:

      Frankly, I don’t know what I am anymore. I did live in Toronto for eight months, so I’m tainted.
      To be honest, I have never given Wire Tap its due. Just never got around to making in a habit. It’s my radio version of “The Sopranos.”

  34. pieterk515 says:

    So this is how you write an about page…Jeez, I’ve learned so many things already on this site. How to decorate cake, how to dress and all whilst laughing my ass off. Great work. One day when I’m all grown up then…

  35. Hello, this is your strangely-immature-despite-no-longer-being-a-minor-geek blogger here. I stumbled across your blog and just wanted to say, the world needs more stuff like this. I was reading through some posts and couldn’t help but be reminded of the good old days when I could read G.K. Chesterton without being interrupted by Other People. 🙂 Thanks!

  36. Carrie Rubin says:

    Impressive writing resume! That’s wonderful. I lived in Canada for a few years as a child. Weyburn, Saskatchewan. We had a trailer on the prairie. Literally. Bitter cold in the winter and tons of mud in the spring. Good times.

    Thanks for visiting my site. Much appreciated. Glad you’re no longer blocked! I look forward to your posts. 🙂

  37. Thom Hickey says:

    Thanks. Pleased to have found your blog. Look forward to lots of reading here. Regards from Thom at the immortal jukebox (drop a nickel).

  38. anawnimiss says:

    Can’t believe I’m only discovering you now, Ross. Loving the humor, and looking forward to catching up on the stuff in your vault. See you around! 🙂

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  41. Lyle Krahn says:

    A refreshingly good about section in a sea of bad ones and by that I mean boring.

  42. Shoot me if you’d like info on a guest spot:
    holistic wayfarer (one word) at gmail.

    Diana

  43. vsvevg says:

    It is the perfect title, as it makes following this blog irresistible. I enjoyed your post on rereading interrupted. Looking forward to more laughs, paz, Abby

  44. Pingback: 5 blogs that will make you laugh, cry, and pee a little bit. | My Sweet Delirium

  45. LifeLoofah says:

    Hey I think your blog is very entertaining so I nominated it for the Liebster award! Check it out here if you’d like: http://lifeloofah.com/2015/07/22/and-now-to-interrupt-my-regularly-scheduled-programming/?fb_action_ids=10155856726720593&fb_action_types=news.publishes

  46. pointlessboob says:

    Just curious, wae part of Scotland is yer kin from? Me mum’s from Kirkintilloch (near Glasgow). Och Aye. Am frae near Philadelphia, PA.

    I typed that with Scottish accent 😉 I’m practically bilingual.

  47. The Hook says:

    I just realized how much more successful you are than yours truly, Ross.
    (Which, admittedly, isn’t a very position to occupy.)
    But seriously, well done!
    You’re Canada’s Ned Hickson.
    And I’m… nobody.
    Time to go; I have posts to write… that no one will read…

  48. Haven’t been on here for a few years: Damn, your kids got bigger. That’ll learn ya for feeding ’em, especially the boy. Keep him away from peanut butter or you’ll be shopping in the basketball player’s section at graduation.

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