Author Archives: rossmurray1

About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."

New Pot for Old Farts: A Guide

So, you’ve decided you’re going to start smoking pot again. Congratulations! First, though, stop calling it “pot.” These days, the cool kids call it “weed,” and that’s 30 percent the point of this entire exercise, right? To be cool again, … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

The Real Fate of the Furious

Short-term spike in blood pressure Tell-tale spittle droplets on conference room table Uncomfortable silence from co-workers Promise from supervisor in soothing voice to resolve problem Feelings of satisfaction that situation will be remedied thanks to forceful rhetoric Feelings of guilt … Continue reading

Posted in Reading? Ugh! | Tagged , , , , , | 20 Comments

The man with his hands on his hips

There was an image that flashed across the TV screen Sunday afternoon. I can’t be certain but it might have been an ad for IBM’s artificial intelligence app, Watson. “Hello. I am Watson,” a voice intones at the end, a … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Pump rage

My general state of being whenever I wait for a gas pump to free up can best be described as “seething.” I’m not great with waiting, even in a car surrounded by the endless possibilities of radio entertainment because, as … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Risky business for columnists

Hi there. How’s tricks? Does anyone say that anymore? “How’s tricks?” Sounds Damon Runyon-esque. That’s Damon Runyon, the American writer, not Damon Runyan, the Canadian actor and star of “Degrassi: The Next Generation,” though, honestly, what kind of parent does … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Father-daughter-Beyoncé bonding

Conversations these days with my 15-year-old daughter go something like this: Abby (getting out of the car): “Can you write me a note? I’m going to be late for class.” Me: “You’re not going to be late. Just be quick.” … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

The ¼ buck stops here

A Canadian quarter from 1907 turned up in my wife’s change from the liquor store last weekend. I like to think it ended up there by way of a slow-moving nonagenarian war bride in a cardigan purchasing her bi-monthly supply … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , | 36 Comments