Author Archives: rossmurray1

About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."

In my alternate-universe election, everyone chooses thoughtfully

The Canadian federal election is Monday, and I can’t remember ever feeling so conflicted about casting my vote. Do I vote with my head? With my heart? With a pink pencil crayon? So many variables! It’s especially hard here in … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec | Tagged , , , , , | 17 Comments

Nouveau old-school nostalgia

I attended Antigonish Regional High School in Nova Scotia, better known as ARHS. The fact that I don’t remember anyone ever pronouncing it “arse” seems to me less a mark of school pride than a sadly missed opportunity. In junior … Continue reading

Posted in Reading? Ugh! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Death of a Salesman: The Musical

A melody is heard, played upon a flute, telling of grass and trees and the horizon. The curtain rises. The flute melody fades abruptly, replaced by an upbeat tune as the CHORUS OF DANCING SALESMEN enter carrying sample cases. They … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Beyond the bedroom door

Even if we were the type who frequently had people over, which we aren’t, not many of those people would make it up to our bedroom. As a society, we tend to stop using the phrase “Want to see my … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , | 18 Comments

SAVE THE ECONOMY!

I speak to you today because our ever-growing economy is under threat of growing not quite so very much. Due to direct human action and cheapskate millennials, global wondering is causing you to challenge corporate greed, question the incessant need … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

The Loneliness of the Bouncy-Castle Monitor

At one point, I’m quiet certain time began to flow in reverse. At very least it began to loop, roughly around the time that child I thought I’d seen the last of flung himself off the top of the bouncy … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , | 16 Comments

Adventures in Self-Publishing: Jerk Edition

I realized this summer that if I were to be true to my established publication intervals — You’re Not Going to Eat That, Are You? (2010), Don’t Everyone Jump At Once (2013), A Hole in the Ground (2016) — I … Continue reading

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , | 15 Comments