Author Archives: rossmurray1

About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."

Got Tinnitus? I Hear Ya!

Pardon me? “We’re landing on my roof”? I’m sorry, I think I misunderstood you. I’m afraid I have trouble hearing. That’s why I’m standing here alone in the corner of this cocktail party. Ha-ha! I bet you thought I was … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , | 19 Comments

Incident Report: Flock 3482, Solstice, 0 A.D.

Location: Bethlehem sub-region 12A – field with tree by brook, the one with the half-ditch, not the full ditch Time: Upon the Midnight Weather: Clear Incident Summary: Shepherds report they passed a quiet evening of general abiding in the field … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays | Tagged , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Overly Complicated Secret Santa

Dear Work Family! The leadership team at Weltzderp Cankerman & Tinkletrain invites you to join in the Merriment of the Holiday Season by participating in our Secret Santa Gift Exchange! This is a fun activity for all, and we hope … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Adventures in Sitting Babies

Gentlemen, ladies, small ferret in the corner wearing a top hat for some reason: thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I think you’ll find the business opportunity I’m about to present to you today demonstrates impressive ROI … Continue reading

Posted in Family - whadya gonna do?, It Could Happen... | Tagged , , | 20 Comments

My 30 Years in the Townships: You’re Welcome*

This fall marks the 30th anniversary of my arrival in the Eastern Townships. I thought the Town of Stanstead would be planning a parade to mark the occasion, but my wife is a municipal councillor and there was a conflict … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , | 18 Comments