Author Archives: rossmurray1

About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."

GODZILLA vs BILLY JOEL – Battle for Long Island: The Final Chapter!

Posted on May 9, 2022 by rossmurray1

[Scene: Inside a secret government compound, Patchogue] GENERAL FORTISSIMO: Dammit, Billy Joel! You’re the only man who can save Long Island from being wiped off the face of the Earth by that rampaging giant lizard! Godzilla has already stomped Sagaponack … Continue reading →

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Can you re-read Atonement?

Posted on July 13, 2021 by rossmurray1

Happy summer, everyone! Inspired by the 20th anniversary of Ian McEwan’s Atonement, I decided to dabble in a little literary retro-criticism. The piece below originally appeared in The Sherbrooke Record, July 9, 2021. WARNING! NOTHING BUT SPOILERS AHEAD! * Before … Continue reading →

Posted in Reading? Ugh!, Writing | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

Checking In

Posted on May 25, 2021 by rossmurray1

How’s everyone’s spring going? Got that shot in the arm yet? Got two? Convaxulations! Me, I got the AstraZeneca and achieved full not-clotting status with only minimal worrying. Who knows what my second dose will be. I’m hoping it’ll be … Continue reading →

Posted in Reading? Ugh! | 23 Comments

Dear John (and Margaret and Doreen and Larry and Alphonse and…)

Posted on March 4, 2021 by rossmurray1

It’s not you, it’s me. Shush, shush. No, don’t speak… It was 17 years ago on this very day that we first ran across each other.* Do you remember? You were a longstanding, traditional newspaper readership and I was a … Continue reading →

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Christopher CrossFit FAQs

Posted on March 2, 2021 by rossmurray1

What is Christopher CrossFit? Christopher CrossFit is an adult-oriented fitness program for men, women, and bodacious cowboys that focuses on strength, conditioning, endurance, and sailing. The program is specifically designed for people in the night whose bodies are weak and … Continue reading →

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , | 9 Comments