Author Archives: rossmurray1

About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."

When my barber retires, I’m out of here

Data released this month revealed that more people are leaving Quebec than arriving. This came the same week that the provincial legislature unanimously passed a motion ostensibly discouraging Quebec merchants (read: Montreal merchants) from saying “Bonjour-hi” to customers. I sense … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

House decorations should be like me: simple and old

As a newly elected town councillor, my wife was invited to the town hall annual Christmas dinner, and as her spouse, I was invited along. That’s right: I was political arm candy, and I’ve never been prouder. Prior to leaving … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays | Tagged , , , , , | 19 Comments

Stop it, Canada, you’re embarrassing me!

My 16-year-old was watching a movie on her tablet. I hovered over her shoulder until the scene ended in a surge of hip-hop. It was something by, I don’t know, L’il Change Purse or Jimmy Jimmy Jam Jam, a tune … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec | Tagged , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Bad Black Friday Ideas

Shooters for Shoppers: 40% off on selected items; 40% alcohol in gulp-size portions “We’ve eliminated janitorial services and passed the savings on to YOU!” Extra 10% off for all men sexier than Blake Shelton (limited to the first 10,000 customers) … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , | 19 Comments

Not to mention “Daddy’s Home 2”

My wife and I recently took advantage of a much-needed getaway weekend, and we did what most couples do when they ditch the kids and the pets and the chores and find themselves alone in a hotel room: we watched … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Branding: Not Just for Cattle Anymore

Introduction: A New Ross Murray for a Sort of New Millennium The Ross Murray brand was first established over 50 years ago and has undergone several iterations – Bad Haircut Ross Murray, Artsy Ross Murray, Ladies’ Man Ross Murray (recalled), … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , , , , , | 11 Comments

Thar she blows

Early this week, the Eastern Townships underwent something called a “weather bomb.” It’s also known as “explosive cyclogenesis.” I thought I had explosive cyclogenesis once but it turned out to be merely gas. Based on the weather bomb as I … Continue reading

Posted in It Could Happen... | Tagged , | 15 Comments