Author Archives: rossmurray1

About rossmurray1

I'm Canadian so I pronounce it "Aboot." No, I don't! I don't know any Canadian who says "aboot." Damnable lies! But I do know this Canadian is all about humour (with a U) and satire. Come by. I don't bite, or as we Canadians say, "beet."

Sufferin’ Salad Stress!

It’s perhaps the most privileged, most tone-deaf thing to complain about, but here we are, and I’m going to say it: I have too many vegetables. I imagine I’m not alone in thinking this. The people who brought you “Pandemic … Continue reading

Posted in It Really Did Happen! | Tagged , , , | 13 Comments

How to dig a hole

“I’m not very good at digging holes.” – Our daughter, explaining why she declined a request to dig a hole in the backyard for her mother’s new lavender plant. The first thing you gotta know about digging holes is you … Continue reading

Posted in Family - whadya gonna do? | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

The COVID Mask of Zorro!

Hola. My name is Don Rosseto de la Vista Cruza, as my father was before me but with hairier shoulders. To the people of los Muncipios del este, I am but a mild-mannered writer of pandemic pamphletos. I am particularly … Continue reading

Posted in Canada and/or Quebec, Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Plato’s Allegory of the Cake

SOCRATES: Imagine this: People live in an underground dwelling. They are chained to the floor and can see only that which is before them. A fire behind them casts a glow within this grotto, and before them is a low … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

“The Tale of Trumpity Slug” by Beatrix Potter

Once upon a time there was a fat orange slug called Trumpity. He was a very naughty slug who lived in Mr. Magoon’s vegetable garden among the shady bracken. The garden had one time been the envy of all the … Continue reading

Posted in Never Happened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments